A Family Man

ACT III
Scene II

Noon the same day.

BUILDER'S study. TOPPING is standing by the open window, looking up and down the street. A newspaper boy's voice is heard calling the first edition of his wares. It approaches from the Right.

TOPPING
Here!

BOY'S VOICE
Right, guv'nor! Johnny Builder up before the beaks! [A paper is pushed up].

TOPPING
[Extending a penny] What's that you're sayin'? You take care!

BOY'S VOICE
It's all 'ere. Johnny Builder--beatin' his wife! Dischawged.

TOPPING
Stop it, you young limb!

BOY'S VOICE
'Allo! What's the matter wiv you? Why, it's Johnny Builder's house! [Gives a cat-call] 'Ere, buy anuvver! 'E'll want to read about 'isself. [Appealing] Buy anuvver, guv'nor!

TOPPING
Move on!

He retreats from the window, opening the paper.

BOY'S VOICE
[Receding] Payper! First edition! J.P. chawged! Payper!

TOPPING
[To himself as he reads] Crimes! Phew! That accounts for them bein' away all night.

While he is reading, CAMILLE enters from the hall. Here! Have you seen this, Camel--in the Stop Press?

CAMILLE
No.

They read eagerly side by side.

TOPPING
[Finishing aloud] "Tried to prevent her father from forcing her mother to return home with him, and he struck her for so doing. She did not press the charge. The arrested gentleman, who said he acted under great provocation, was discharged with a caution." Well, I'm blowed! He has gone and done it!

CAMILLE
A black eye!

TOPPING
[Gazing at her] Have you had any hand in this? I've seen you making your lovely black eyes at him. You foreigners--you're a loose lot!

CAMILLE
You are drunk!

TOPPING
Not yet, my dear. [Reverting to the paper; philosophically] Well, this little lot's bust up! The favourites will fall down. Johnny Builder! Who'd have thought it?

CAMILLE
He is an obstinate man.

TOPPING
Ah! He's right up against it now. Comes of not knowin' when to stop bein' firm. If you meet a wall with your 'ead, it's any odds on the wall, Camel. Though, if you listened to some, you wouldn't think it. What'll he do now, I wonder? Any news of the mistress?

CAMILLE
[Shaking her head] I have pack her tr-runks.

TOPPING
Why?

CAMILLE
Because she take her jewels yesterday.

TOPPING
Deuce she did! They generally leave 'em. Take back yer gifts! She throws the baubles at 'is 'ead. [Again staring at her] You're a deep one, you know!

There is the sound of a cab stopping.

Wonder if that's him! [He goes towards the hall. CAMILLE watchfully shifts towards the diningroom door. MAUD enters.]

MAUD
Is my father back, Topping?

TOPPING
Not yet, Miss.

MAUD
I've come for mother's things.

CAMILLE
They are r-ready.

MAUD
[Eyeing her] Topping, get them down, please.

TOPPING, after a look at them both, goes out into the hall.

Very clever of you to have got them ready.

CAMILLE
I am clevare.

MAUD
[Almost to herself] Yes--father may, and he may not.

CAMILLE
Look! If you think I am a designing woman, you are mistook. I know when things are too 'ot. I am not sorry to go.

MAUD
Oh! you are going?

CAMILLE
Yes, I am going. How can I stay when there is no lady in the 'ouse?

MAUD
Not even if you're asked to?

CAMILLE
Who will ask me?

MAUD
That we shall see.

CAMILLE
Well, you will see I have an opinion of my own.

MAUD
Oh! yes, you're clear-headed enough.

CAMILLE
I am not arguing. Good-morning!

Exits up Left.

MAUD regards her stolidly as she goes out into the dining-room, then takes up the paper and reads.

MAUD
Horrible!

TOPPING re-enters from the hall.

TOPPING
I've got 'em on the cab, Miss. I didn't put your ten bob on yesterday, because the animal finished last. You cant depend on horses.

MAUD
[Touching the newspaper] This is a frightful business, Topping.

TOPPING
Ah! However did it happen, Miss Maud?

MAUD
[Tapping the newspaper] It's all true. He came after my mother to Miss Athene's, and I--I couldn't stand it. I did what it says here; and now I'm sorry. Mother's dreadfully upset. You know father as well as anyone, Topping; what do you think he'll do now?

TOPPING
[Sucking in his cheeks] Well, you see, Miss, it's like this: Up to now Mr Builder's always had the respect of everybody--

MAUD moves her head impatiently.

outside his own house, of course. Well, now he hasn't got it. Pishchologically that's bound to touch him.

MAUD
Of course; but which way? Will he throw up the sponge, or try and stick it out here?

TOPPING
He won't throw up the sponge, Miss; more likely to squeeze it down the back of their necks.

MAUD
He'll be asked to resign, of course.

The NEWSPAPER BOY'S VOICE is heard again approaching: "First edition! Great sensation! Local magistrate before the Bench! Pay-per!"

Oh, dear! I wish I hadn't! But I couldn't see mother being--

TOPPING
Don't you fret, Miss; he'll come through. His jaw's above his brow, as you might say.

MAUD
What?

TOPPING
[Nodding] Phreenology, Miss. I rather follow that. When the jaw's big and the brow is small, it's a sign of character. I always think the master might have been a Scotchman, except for his fishionomy.

MAUD
A Scotsman?

TOPPING
So down on anything soft, Miss. Haven't you noticed whenever one of these 'Umanitarians writes to the papers, there's always a Scotchman after him next morning. Seems to be a fact of 'uman nature, like introducin' rabbits into a new country and then weasels to get rid of 'em. And then something to keep down the weasels. But I never can see what could keep down a Scotchman! You seem to reach the hapex there!

MAUD
Miss Athene was married this morning, Topping. We've just come from the Registrar's.

TOPPING
[Immovably] Indeed, Miss. I thought perhaps she was about to be.

MAUD
Oh!

TOPPING
Comin' events. I saw the shadder yesterday.

MAUD
Well, it's all right. She's coming on here with my uncle.

A cab is heard driving up.

That's them, I expect. We all feel awful about father.

TOPPING
Ah! I shouldn't be surprised if he feels awful about you, Miss.

MAUD
[At the window] It is them.

TOPPING goes out into the hall; ATHENE and RALPH enter Right.

MAUD
Where's father, Uncle Ralph?

RALPH
With his solicitor.

ATHENE
We left Guy with mother at the studio. She still thinks she ought to come. She keeps on saying she must, now father's in a hole.

MAUD
I've got her things on the cab; she ought to be perfectly free to choose.

RALPH
You've got freedom on the brain, Maud.

MAUD
So would you, Uncle Ralph, if you had father about.

RALPH
I'm his partner, my dear.

MAUD
Yes; how do you manage him?

RALPH
I've never yet given him in charge.

ATHENE
What do you do, Uncle Ralph?

RALPH
Undermine him when I can.

MAUD
And when you can't?

RALPH
Undermine the other fellow. You can't go to those movie people now, Maud. They'd star you as the celebrated Maud Builder who gave her father into custody. Come to us instead, and have perfect freedom, till all this blows over.

MAUD
Oh! what will father be like now?

ATHENE
It's so queer you and he being brothers, Uncle Ralph.

RALPH
There are two sides to every coin, my dear. John's the head-and I'm the tail. He has the sterling qualities. Now, you girls have got to smooth him down, and make up to him. You've tried him pretty high.

MAUD
[Stubbornly] I never wanted him for a father, Uncle.

RALPH
They do wonderful things nowadays with inherited trouble. Come, are you going to be nice to him, both of you?

ATHENE
We're going to try.

RALPH
Good! I don't even now understand how it happened.

MAUD
When you went out with Guy, it wasn't three minutes before he came. Mother had just told us about--well, about something beastly. Father wanted us to go, and we agreed to go out for five minutes while he talked to mother. We went, and when we came back he told me to get a cab to take mother home. Poor mother stood there looking like a ghost, and he began hunting and hauling her towards the door. I saw red, and instead of a cab I fetched that policeman. Of course father did black his eye. Guy was splendid.

ATHENE
You gave him the lead.

MAUD
I couldn't help it, seeing father standing there all dumb.

ATHENE
It was awful! Uncle, why didn't you come back with Guy?

MAUD
Oh, yes! why didn't you, Uncle?

ATHENE
When Maud had gone for the cab, I warned him not to use force. I told him it was against the law, but he only said: "The law be damned!"

RALPH
Well, it all sounds pretty undignified.

MAUD
Yes; everybody saw red.

They have not seen the door opened from the hall, and BUILDER standing there. He is still unshaven, a little sunken in the face, with a glum, glowering expression. He has a document in his hand. He advances a step or two and they see him.

ATHENE and MAUD
[Aghast] Father!

BUILDER
Ralph, oblige me! See them off the premises!

RALPH
Steady, John!

BUILDER
Go!

MAUD
[Proudly] All right! We thought you might like to know that Athene's married, and that I've given up the movies. Now we'll go.

BUILDER turns his back on them, and, sitting down at his writing- table, writes.

After a moment's whispered conversation with their Uncle, the two girls go out.

RALPH BUILDER stands gazing with whimsical commiseration at his brother's back. As BUILDER finishes writing, he goes up and puts his hand on his brother's shoulder.

RALPH
This is an awful jar, old man!

BUILDER
Here's what I've said to that fellow: "MR MAYOR,--You had the effrontery to-day to discharge me with a caution--forsooth!--your fellow --magistrate. I've consulted my solicitor as to whether an action will lie for false imprisonment. I'm informed that it won't. I take this opportunity of saying that justice in this town is a travesty. I have no wish to be associated further with you or your fellows; but you are vastly mistaken if you imagine that I shall resign my position on the Bench or the Town Council.--Yours, "JOHN BUILDER."

RALPH
I say--keep your sense of humour, old boy.

BUILDER
[Grimly] Humour? I've spent a night in a cell. See this! [He holds out the document] It disinherits my family.

RALPH
John!

BUILDER
I've done with those two ladies. As to my wife--if she doesn't come back--! When I suffer, I make others suffer.

RALPH
Julia's very upset, my dear fellow; we all are. The girls came here to try and--

BUILDER
[Rising] They may go to hell! If that lousy Mayor thinks I'm done with--he's mistaken! [He rings the bell] I don't want any soft sawder. I'm a fighter.

RALPH
[In a low voice] The enemy stands within the gate, old chap.

BUILDER
What's that?

RALPH
Let's boss our own natures before we boss those of other people. Have a sleep on it, John, before you do anything.

BUILDER
Sleep? I hadn't a wink last night. If you'd passed the night I had--

RALPH
I hadn't many myself.

TOPPING enters.

BUILDER
Take this note to the Mayor with my compliments, and don't bring back an answer.

TOPPING
Very good, sir. There's a gentleman from the "Comet" in the hall, sir. Would you see him for a minute, he says.

BUILDER
Tell him to go to--

A voice says, "Mr Builder!" BUILDER turns to see the figure of the JOURNALIST in the hall doorway. TOPPING goes out.

JOURNALIST
[Advancing with his card] Mr Builder, it's very good of you to see me. I had the pleasure this morning--I mean--I tried to reach you when you left the Mayor's. I thought you would probably have your own side of this unfortunate matter. We shall be glad to give it every prominence.

TOPPING has withdrawn, and RALPH BUILDER, at the window, stands listening.

BUILDER
[Drily, regarding the JOURNALIST, who has spoken in a pleasant and polite voice] Very good of you!

JOURNALIST
Not at all, sir. We felt that you would almost certainly have good reasons of your own which would put the matter in quite a different light.

BUILDER
Good reasons? I should think so! I tell you--a very little more of this liberty--licence I call it--and there isn't a man who'll be able to call himself head of a family.

JOURNALIST
[Encouragingly] Quite!

BUILDER
If the law thinks it can back up revolt, it's damned well mistaken. I struck my daughter--I was in a passion, as you would have been.

JOURNALIST
[Encouraging] I'm sure--

BUILDER,/b> [Glaring at him] Well, I don't know that you would; you look a soft sort; but any man with any blood in him.