Love for Love

ACT V
Scene XI.

[To them] TATTLE and MRS FRAIL.

MRS FRAIL
O sister, the most unlucky accident.

MRS FORESIGHT
What's the matter?

TATTLE
Oh, the two most unfortunate poor creatures in the world we are.

FORESIGHT
Bless us! How so?

MRS FRAIL
Ah, Mr Tattle and I, poor Mr Tattle and I are--I can't speak it out.

TATTLE
Nor I. But poor Mrs Frail and I are -

MRS FRAIL
Married.

MRS FORESIGHT
Married! How?

TATTLE
Suddenly--before we knew where we were--that villain Jeremy, by the help of disguises, tricked us into one another.

FORESIGHT
Why, you told me just now you went hence in haste to be married.

ANGELICA
But I believe Mr Tattle meant the favour to me: I thank him.

TATTLE
I did, as I hope to be saved, madam; my intentions were good. But this is the most cruel thing, to marry one does not know how, nor why, nor wherefore. The devil take me if ever I was so much concerned at anything in my life.

ANGELICA
'Tis very unhappy, if you don't care for one another.

TATTLE
The least in the world--that is for my part: I speak for myself. Gad, I never had the least thought of serious kindness.--I never liked anybody less in my life. Poor woman! Gad, I'm sorry for her too, for I have no reason to hate her neither; but I believe I shall lead her a damned sort of a life.

MRS FORESIGHT
He's better than no husband at all--though he's a coxcomb. [To FRAIL.]

MRS FRAIL [to her]. Ay, ay, it's well it's no worse.--Nay, for my part I always despised Mr Tattle of all things; nothing but his being my husband could have made me like him less.

TATTLE
Look you there, I thought as much. Pox on't, I wish we could keep it secret; why, I don't believe any of this company would speak of it.

MRS FRAIL
But, my dear, that's impossible: the parson and that rogue Jeremy will publish it.

TATTLE
Ay, my dear, so they will, as you say.

ANGELICA
Oh, you'll agree very well in a little time; custom will make it easy to you.

TATTLE
Easy! Pox on't, I don't believe I shall sleep to-night.

SIR SAMPSON LEGEND
Sleep, quotha! No; why, you would not sleep o' your wedding-night? I'm an older fellow than you, and don't mean to sleep.

BEN LEGEND
Why, there's another match now, as thof a couple of privateers were looking for a prize and should fall foul of one another. I'm sorry for the young man with all my heart. Look you, friend, if I may advise you, when she's going--for that you must expect, I have experience of her--when she's going, let her go. For no matrimony is tough enough to hold her; and if she can't drag her anchor along with her, she'll break her cable, I can tell you that. Who's here? The madman?