``I tell ye, boys, hit hain t often a
feller has the chance o' doin' so much
good jes by dyin'. Fer 'f Abe Shivers
air gone, shorely gone, the rest of us--
every durn one of us--air a-goin' to be
saved. Fer Abe Shivers--you hain't
heerd tell o' Abe? Well, you must be a
stranger in these mountains o' Kaintuck,
shore.
``I don't know, stranger, as Abe ever
was borned; nobody in these mountains
knows it 'f he was. The fust time I ever
heerd tell o' Abe he was a-hollerin' fer his
rights one mawnin' at daylight, endurin'
the war, jes outside o' ole Tom Perkins'
door on Fryin' Pan. Abe was left thar
by some home-gyard, I reckon. Well,
nobody air ever turned out'n doors in
these mountains, as you know, an' Abe
got his rights that mawin', an' he's been
a-gittin' 'em ever sence. Tom already
had a houseful, but 'f any feller got the
bigges' hunk o' corn-bread, that feller was
Abe; an' ef any feller got a-whalin',
hit wasn't Abe.
``Abe tuk to lyin' right naturely--
looked like--afore he could talk. Fact
is, Abe nuver could do nothin' but jes
whisper. Still, Abe could manage to
send a lie furder with that rattlin'
whisper than ole Tom could with
that big horn o' hisn what tells the
boys the revenoos air comin' up Fryin'
Pan.'
``Didn't take Abe long to git to braggin'
an' drinkin' an' naggin' an' hectorin'
--everything, 'mos', 'cept fightin'. Nobody
ever drawed Abe Shivers into a
fight. I don't know as he was afeerd;
looked like Abe was a-havin' sech a
tarnation good time with his devilmint he
jes didn't want to run no risk o' havin'
hit stopped. An' sech devilmint! Hit
ud take a coon's age, I reckon, to tell
ye.
``The boys was a-goin' up the river
one night to git ole Dave Hall fer trickin'
Rosie Branham into evil. Some feller
goes ahead an' tells ole Dave they's
a-comin.' Hit was Abe. Some feller
finds a streak o' ore on ole Tom Perkins'
land, an' racks his jinny down to town,
an' tells a furriner thar, an' Tom comes
might' nigh sellin' the land fer nothin'.
Now Tom raised Abe, but, jes the same,
the feller was Abe.
``One night somebody guides the
revenoos in on Hell fer Sartain, an' they
cuts up four stills. Hit was Abe. The
same night, mind ye, a feller slips in
among the revenoos while they's asleep,
and cuts off their hosses' manes an'
tails--muled every durned critter uv
'em. Stranger, hit was Abe. An' as
fer women-folks--well, Abe was the
ill favoredest feller I ever see, an' he
couldn't talk; still, Abe was sassy, an'
you know how sass counts with the gals;
an' Abe's whisperin' come in jes as
handy as any feller's settin' up; so 'f
ever you seed a man with a Winchester
a-lookin' fer the feller who had cut
him out, stranger, he was a-lookin' fer
Abe.
``Somebody tells Harve Hall, up thar
at a dance on Hell-fer-Sartain one Christmas
night, that Rich Harp had said
somep'n' agin him an' Nance Osborn.
An' somebody tells Rich that Harve had
said sompe'n' agin Nance an' him. Hit
was one an' the same feller, stranger, an'
the feller was Abe. Well, while Rich
an' Harve was a-gittin' well, somebody
runs off with Nance. Hit was Abe.
Then Rich an' Harve jes draws straws
fer a feller. Stranger, they drawed fer
Abe. Hit's purty hard to believe that
Abe air gone, 'cept that Rich Harp an'
Harve Hall don't never draw no straws
fer nothin'; but 'f by the grace o' Goddle-
mighty Abe air gone, why, as I was
a-sayin', the rest of us--every durned one
of us air a-goin' to be saved, shore.
Fer Abe's gone fust, an' ef thar's only
one Jedgment Day, the Lawd 'll nuver
git to us.''