Chapter XX. Wherein the Elder Ammon Offers Advice, and Edith Carr Experiences Regrets
Philip Ammon walked from among his friends a
humiliated and a wounded man. Never before had
Edith Carr appeared quite so beautiful. All evening
she had treated him with unusual consideration.
Never had he loved her so deeply. Then in a few seconds
everything was different. Seeing the change in her face,
and hearing her meaningless accusations, killed something
in his heart. Warmth went out and a cold weight took
its place. But even after that, he had offered the ring
to her again, and asked her before others to reconsider.
The answer had been further insult.
He walked, paying no heed to where he went. He had
traversed many miles when he became aware that his feet
had chosen familiar streets. He was passing his home.
Dawn was near, but the first floor was lighted.
He staggered up the steps and was instantly admitted.
The library door stood open, while his father sat with
a book pretending to read. At Philip's entrance the
father scarcely glanced up.
"Come on!" he called. "I have just told Banks to bring
me a cup of coffee before I turn in. Have one with me!"
Philip sat beside the table and leaned his head on his
hands, but he drank a cup of steaming coffee and felt better.
"Father," he said, "father, may I talk with you a little while?"
"Of course," answered Mr. Ammon. "I am not at
all tired. I think I must have been waiting in the
hope that you would come. I want no one's version
of this but yours. Tell me the straight of the
thing, Phil."
Philip told all he knew, while his father sat in deep thought.
"On my life I can't see any occasion for such a display of
temper, Phil. It passed all bounds of reason and breeding.
Can't you think of anything more?"
"Polly says every one expected you to carry the moth
you caught to Edith. Why didn't you?"
"She screams if a thing of that kind comes near her.
She never has taken the slightest interest in them. I was
in a big hurry. I didn't want to miss one minute of my
dance with her. The moth was not so uncommon, but by
a combination of bad luck it had become the rarest in
America for a friend of mine, who is making a collection to
pay college expenses. For an instant last June the series
was completed; when a woman's uncontrolled temper ruined
this specimen and the search for it began over. A few
days later a pair was secured, and again the money was
in sight for several hours. Then an accident wrecked
one-fourth of the collection. I helped replace those
last June, all but this Yellow Emperor which we could
not secure, and we haven't been able to find, buy or
trade for one since. So my friend was compelled to teach
this past winter instead of going to college. When that
moth came flying in there to-night, it seemed to me like fate.
All I thought of was, that to secure it would complete the
collection and secure the money. So I caught the Emperor and
started it to Elnora. I declare to you that I was not out of
the pavilion over three minutes at a liberal estimate. If I
only had thought to speak to the orchestra! I was sure I
would be back before enough couples gathered and formed
for the dance."
"I tried many times to tell her, to interest her, but she
was so indifferent that it was insulting. She would not
hear me."
"We are neither one in any condition to sleep. Why don't
you begin at the first and tell me about this girl?
To think of other matters for a time may clear our vision
for a sane solution of this. Who is she, just what is she
doing, and what is she like? You know I was reared among
those Limberlost people, I can understand readily.
What is her name and where does she live?"
Philip gave a man's version of the previous summer,
while his father played with the book industriously.
"You are very sure as to her refinement and education?"
"In almost two months' daily association, could a man
be mistaken? She can far and away surpass Polly, Edith,
or any girl of our set on any common, high school, or
supplementary branch, and you know high schools have
French, German, and physics now. Besides, she is a
graduate of two other institutions. All her life she has
been in the school of Hard Knocks. She has the biggest,
tenderest, most human heart I ever knew in a girl. She has
known life in its most cruel phases, and instead of
hardening her, it has set her trying to save other
people suffering. Then this nature position of which
I told you; she graduated in the School of the Woods,
before she secured that. The Bird Woman, whose work you
know, helped her there. Elnora knows more interesting
things in a minute than any other girl I ever met knew in
an hour, provided you are a person who cares to understand
plant and animal life."
The book leaves slid rapidly through his fingers as
the father drawled: "What sort of looking girl is she?"
"Tall as Edith, a little heavier, pink, even complexion,
wide open blue-gray eyes with heavy black brows, and
lashes so long they touch her cheeks. She has a rope
of waving, shining hair that makes a real crown on her
head, and it appears almost red in the light. She is as
handsome as any fair woman I ever saw, but she doesn't
know it. Every time any one pays her a compliment,
her mother, who is a caution, discovers that, for some
reason, the girl is a fright, so she has no appreciation of
her looks."
"And you were in daily association two months with
a girl like that! How about it, Phil?"
"If you mean, did I trifle with her, no!" cried Philip hotly.
"I told her the second time I met her all about Edith.
Almost every day I wrote to Edith in her presence.
Elnora gathered violets and made a fancy basket to put
them in for Edith's birthday. I started to err in
too open admiration for Elnora, but her mother brought
me up with a whirl I never forgot. Fifty times a day
in the swamps and forests Elnora made a perfect picture,
but I neither looked nor said anything. I never met
any girl so downright noble in bearing and actions.
I never hated anything as I hated leaving her, for we were
dear friends, like two wholly congenial men. Her mother
was almost always with us. She knew how much I admired
Elnora, but so long as I concealed it from the girl,
the mother did not care."
"Yet you left such a girl and came back whole-hearted
to Edith Carr!"
"Surely! You know how it has been with me about
Edith all my life."
"Yet the girl you picture is far her superior to an
unprejudiced person, when thinking what a man would
require in a wife to be happy."
"I never have thought what I would `require' to be happy!
I only thought whether I could make Edith happy. I have
been an idiot! What I've borne you'll never know!
To-night is only one of many outbursts like that,
in varying and lesser degrees."
"Phil, I love you, when you say you have thought
only of Edith! I happen to know that it is true.
You are my only son, and I have had a right to watch
you closely. I believe you utterly. Any one who cares
for you as I do, and has had my years of experience in
this world over yours, knows that in some ways, to-night
would be a blessed release, if you could take it; but
you cannot! Go to bed now, and rest. To-morrow, go back
to her and fix it up."
"You heard what I said when I left her! I said it because
something in my heart died a minute before that, and
I realized that it was my love for Edith Carr. Never again
will I voluntarily face such a scene. If she can act
like that at a ball, before hundreds, over a thing of which
I thought nothing at all, she would go into actual physical
fits and spasms, over some of the household crises I've
seen the mater meet with a smile. Sir, it is truth that
I have thought only of her up to the present. Now, I
will admit I am thinking about myself. Father, did you
see her? Life is too short, and it can be too sweet, to
throw it away in a battle with an unrestrained woman.
I am no fighter--where a girl is concerned, anyway.
I respect and love her or I do nothing. Never again is
either respect or love possible between me and Edith Carr.
Whenever I think of her in the future, I will see her as
she was to-night. But I can't face the crowd just yet.
Could you spare me a few days?"
"It is only ten days until you were to go north for the
summer, go now."
"I don't want to go north. I don't want to meet people
I know. There, the story would precede me. I do not
need pitying glances or rough condolences. I wonder if
I could not hide at Uncle Ed's in Wisconsin for awhile?"
The book closed suddenly. The father leaned across
the table and looked into the son's eyes.
"Do you think you are in any condition to decide to-night?"
"Death cannot return to life, father. My love for
Edith Carr is dead. I hope never to see her again."
"If I thought you could be certain so soon! But, come
to think of it, you are very like me in many ways. I am
with you in this. Public scenes and disgraces I would
not endure. It would be over with me, were I in your
position, that I know."
"It is done for all time," said Philip Ammon. "Let us
not speak of it further."
"Then, Phil," the father leaned closer and looked at the
son tenderly, "Phil, why don't you go to the Limberlost?"
"Why not? No one can comfort a hurt heart like a
tender woman; and, Phil, have you ever stopped to think
that you may have a duty in the Limberlost, if you
are free? I don't know! I only suggest it. But, for a
country schoolgirl, unaccustomed to men, two months
with a man like you might well awaken feelings of which
you do not think. Because you were safe-guarded is no
sign the girl was. She might care to see you. You can
soon tell. With you, she comes next to Edith, and you
have made it clear to me that you appreciate her in many
ways above. So I repeat it, why not go to the Limberlost?"
A long time Philip Ammon sat in deep thought. At last
he raised his head.
"Well, why not!" he said. "Years could make me
no surer than I am now, and life is short. Please ask
Banks to get me some coffee and toast, and I will bathe
and dress so I can take the early train."
"Go to your bath. I will attend to your packing
and everything. And Phil, if I were you, I would
leave no addresses."
"He did not feel like facing his friends at present, and
I am just back from driving him to the station. He said
he might go to Siam, or Patagonia. He would leave no address."
Henderson almost staggered. "He's not gone? And left
no address? You don't mean it! He'll never forgive her!"
"Never is a long time, Hart," said Mr. Ammon. "And it
seems even longer to those of us who are well acquainted
with Phil. Last night was not the last straw. It was
the whole straw-stack. It crushed Phil so far as she
is concerned. He will not see her again voluntarily, and
he will not forget if he does. You can take it from him,
and from me, we have accepted the lady's decision. Will you
have a cup of coffee?"
Twice Henderson opened his lips to speak of Edith
Carr's despair. Twice he looked into the stern, inflexible
face of Mr. Ammon and could not betray her. He held
out the ring.
"I have no instructions as to that," said the elder
Ammon, drawing back. "Possibly Miss Carr would have
it as a keepsake."
"Then suppose you return it to Peacock. I will phone him.
He will give you the price of it, and you might add
it to the children's Fresh Air Fund. We would be obliged
if you would do that. No one here cares to handle the object."
Then he went to his home, but he could not think of sleep.
He ordered breakfast, but he could not eat. He paced the
library for a time, but it was too small. Going on the
streets he walked until exhausted, then he called
a hansom and was driven to his club. He had thought
himself familiar with every depth of suffering; that night
had taught him that what he felt for himself was not to be
compared with the anguish which wrung his heart over
the agony of Edith Carr. He tried to blame Philip Ammon,
but being an honest man, Henderson knew that was unjust.
The fault lay wholly with her, but that only made it
harder for him, as he realized it would in time for her.
As he sauntered into the room an attendant hurried to him.
"You are wanted most urgently at the 'phone, Mr.
Henderson," he said. "You have had three calls from
Main 5770."
Henderson shivered as he picked down the receiver and
gave the call.
"Edith, he said he had been to the station. He said
Phil had started to Siam or Patagonia, he didn't know
which, and left no address. He said----"
Distinctly Henderson heard her fall. He set the buzzer
ringing, and in a few seconds heard voices, so he knew she
had been found. Then he crept into a private den and
shook with a hard, nervous chill.
The next day Edith Carr started on her trip to Europe.
Henderson felt certain she hoped to meet Philip there.
He was sure she would be disappointed, though he had no
idea where Ammon could have gone. But after much
thought he decided he would see Edith soonest by
remaining at home, so he spent the summer in Chicago.