Chapter II. The Episode of the Gentleman Who Had Failed for Everything
One day, about those times, I went round to call on my aunt, Lady
Tepping. And lest you accuse me of the vulgar desire to flaunt my
fine relations in your face, I hasten to add that my poor dear old
aunt is a very ordinary specimen of the common Army widow. Her
husband, Sir Malcolm, a crusty old gentleman of the ancient school,
was knighted in Burma, or thereabouts, for a successful raid upon
naked natives, on something that is called the Shan frontier. When
he had grown grey in the service of his Queen and country, besides
earning himself incidentally a very decent pension, he acquired
gout and went to his long rest in Kensal Green Cemetery. He left
his wife with one daughter, and the only pretence to a title in our
otherwise blameless family.
My cousin Daphne is a very pretty girl, with those quiet, sedate
manners which often develop later in life into genuine self-respect
and real depth of character. Fools do not admire her; they accuse
her of being "heavy." But she can do without fools; she has a
fine, strongly built figure, an upright carriage, a large and broad
forehead, a firm chin, and features which, though well-marked and
well-moulded, are yet delicate in outline and sensitive in
expression. Very young men seldom take to Daphne: she lacks the
desired inanity. But she has mind, repose, and womanly tenderness.
Indeed, if she had not been my cousin, I almost think I might once
have been tempted to fall in love with her.
When I reached Gloucester Terrace, on this particular afternoon, I
found Hilda Wade there before me. She had lunched at my aunt's, in
fact. It was her "day out" at St. Nathaniel's, and she had come
round to spend it with Daphne Tepping. I had introduced her to the
house some time before, and she and my cousin had struck up a close
acquaintance immediately. Their temperaments were sympathetic;
Daphne admired Hilda's depth and reserve, while Hilda admired
Daphne's grave grace and self-control, her perfect freedom from
current affectations. She neither giggled nor aped Ibsenism.
A third person stood back in the room when I entered--a tall and
somewhat jerry-built young man, with a rather long and solemn face,
like an early stage in the evolution of a Don Quixote. I took a
good look at him. There was something about his air that impressed
me as both lugubrious and humorous; and in this I was right, for I
learned later that he was one of those rare people who can sing a
comic song with immense success while preserving a sour countenance,
like a Puritan preacher's. His eyes were a little sunken, his
fingers long and nervous; but I fancied he looked a good fellow at
heart, for all that, though foolishly impulsive. He was a
punctilious gentleman, I felt sure; his face and manner grew upon
one rapidly.
Daphne rose as I entered, and waved the stranger forward with an
imperious little wave. I imagined, indeed, that I detected in the
gesture a faint touch of half-unconscious proprietorship. "Good-
morning, Hubert," she said, taking my hand, but turning towards the
tall young man. "I don't think you know Mr. Cecil Holsworthy."
"I have heard you speak of him," I answered, drinking him in with
my glance. I added internally, "Not half good enough for you."
Hilda's eyes met mine and read my thought. They flashed back word,
in the language of eyes, "I do not agree with you."
Daphne, meanwhile, was watching me closely. I could see she was
anxious to discover what impression her friend Mr. Holsworthy was
making on me. Till then, I had no idea she was fond of anyone in
particular; but the way her glance wandered from him to me and from
me to Hilda showed clearly that she thought much of this gawky
visitor.
We sat and talked together, we four, for some time. I found the
young man with the lugubrious countenance improved immensely on
closer acquaintance. His talk was clever. He turned out to be the
son of a politician high in office in the Canadian Government, and
he had been educated at Oxford. The father, I gathered, was rich,
but he himself was making an income of nothing a year just then as
a briefless barrister, and he was hesitating whether to accept a
post of secretary that had been offered him in the colony, or to
continue his negative career at the Inner Temple, for the honour
and glory of it.
"Now, which would you advise me, Miss Tepping?" he inquired, after
we had discussed the matter some minutes.
Daphne's face flushed up. "It is so hard to decide," she answered.
"To decide to your best advantage, I mean, of course. For
naturally all your English friends would wish to keep you as long
as possible in England."
"No, do you think so?" the gawky young man jerked out with evident
pleasure. "Now, that's awfully kind of you. Do you know, if you
tell me I ought to stay in England, I've half a mind . . . I'll
cable over this very day and refuse the appointment."
Daphne flushed once more. "Oh, please don't!" she exclaimed,
looking frightened. "I shall be quite distressed if a stray word
of mine should debar you from accepting a good offer of a
secretaryship."
"Why, your least wish--" the young man began--then checked himself
hastily--"must be always important," he went on, in a different
voice, "to everyone of your acquaintance."
Daphne rose hurriedly. "Look here, Hilda," she said, a little
tremulously, biting her lip, "I have to go out into Westbourne
Grove to get those gloves for to-night, and a spray for my hair;
will you excuse me for half an hour?"
Holsworthy rose too. "Mayn't I go with you?" he asked, eagerly.
"Oh, if you like. How very kind of you!" Daphne answered, her
cheek a blush rose. "Hubert, will you come too? and you, Hilda?"
It was one of those invitations which are given to be refused. I
did not need Hilda's warning glance to tell me that my company
would be quite superfluous. I felt those two were best left
together.
"It's no use, though, Dr. Cumberledge!" Hilda put in, as soon as
they were gone. "He won't propose, though he has had every
encouragement. I don't know what's the matter; but I've been
watching them both for weeks, and somehow things seem never to get
any forwarder."
"In love with her! Well, you have eyes in your head, I know; where
could they have been looking? He's madly in love--a very good kind
of love, too. He genuinely admires and respects and appreciates
all Daphne's sweet and charming qualities."
"Because--he can't help himself. He's a good fellow and a
chivalrous fellow. He admires your cousin; but he must have got
himself into some foolish entanglement elsewhere which he is too
honourable to break off; while at the same time he's far too much
impressed by Daphne's fine qualities to be able to keep away from
her. It's the ordinary case of love versus duty."
"Is he well off? Could he afford to marry Daphne?"
"Oh, his father's very rich: he has plenty of money; a Canadian
millionaire, they say. That makes it all the likelier that some
undesirable young woman somewhere may have managed to get hold of
him. Just the sort of romantic, impressionable hobbledehoy such
women angle for."
I drummed my fingers on the table. Presently Hilda spoke again.
"Why don't you try to get to know him, and find out precisely
what's the matter?"
"Iknow what's the matter--now you've told me," I answered. "It's
as clear as day. Daphne is very much smitten with him, too. I'm
sorry for Daphne! Well, I'll take your advice; I'll try to have
some talk with him."
"Do, please; I feel sure I have hit upon it. He has got himself
engaged in a hurry to some girl he doesn't really care about, and
he is far too much of a gentleman to break it off, though he's in
love quite another way with Daphne."
Just at that moment the door opened and my aunt entered.
"Why, where's Daphne?" she cried, looking about her and arranging
her black lace shawl.
"She has just run out into Westbourne Grove to get some gloves and
a flower for the fete this evening," Hilda answered. Then she
added, significantly, "Mr. Holsworthy has gone with her."
My aunt turned to me with an aggrieved tone. It is a peculiarity
of my aunt's--I have met it elsewhere--that if she is angry with
Jones, and Jones is not present, she assumes a tone of injured
asperity on his account towards Brown or Smith, or any other
innocent person whom she happens to be addressing. "Now, this is
really too bad, Hubert," she burst out, as if I were the culprit.
"Disgraceful! Abominable! I'm sure I can't make out what the
young fellow means by it. Here he comes dangling after Daphne
every day and all day long--and never once says whether he means
anything by it or not. In my young days, such conduct as that
would not have been considered respectable."
"Well, why don't you answer me?" my aunt went on, warming up. "Do
you mean to tell me you think his behaviour respectful to a nice
girl in Daphne's position?"
"My dear aunt," I answered. "you confound the persons. I am not
Mr. Holsworthy. I decline responsibility for him. I meet him
here, in your house, for the first time this morning."
"Then that shows how often you come to see your relations, Hubert!"
my aunt burst out, obliquely. "The man's been here, to my certain
knowledge, every day this six weeks."
"Really, Aunt Fanny," I said; "you must recollect that a
professional man--"
"Oh, yes. That's the way! Lay it all down to your profession, do,
Hubert! Though I know you were at the Thorntons' on Saturday--saw
it in the papers--the Morning Post--'among the guests were Sir
Edward and Lady Burnes, Professor Sebastian, Dr. Hubert Cumberledge,'
and so forth, and so forth. You think you can conceal these things;
but you can't. I get to know them!"
"Conceal them! My dearest aunt! Why, I danced twice with Daphne."
"Daphne! Yes, Daphne. They all run after Daphne," my aunt
exclaimed, altering the venue once more. "But there's no respect
for age left. I expect to be neglected. However, that's neither
here nor there. The point is this: you're the one man now living
in the family. You ought to behave like a brother to Daphne. Why
don't you board this Holsworthy person and ask him his intentions?"
"Goodness gracious!" I cried; "most excellent of aunts, that epoch
has gone past. The late lamented Queen Anne is now dead. It's no
use asking the young man of to-day to explain his intentions. He
will refer you to the works of the Scandinavian dramatists."
My aunt was speechless. She could only gurgle out the words:
"Well, I can safely say that of all the monstrous behaviour--" then
language failed her and she relapsed into silence.
However, when Daphne and young Holsworthy returned, I had as much
talk with him as I could, and when he left the house I left also.
"Which way are you walking?" I asked, as we turned out into the
street.
We strode side by side a little distance in silence. Then a
thought seemed to strike the lugubrious young man. "What a
charming girl your cousin is!" he exclaimed, abruptly.
He flushed a little; the lantern jaw grew longer. "I admire her,
of course," he answered. "Who doesn't? She is so extraordinarily
handsome."
"Well, not exactly handsome," I replied, with more critical and
kinsman-like deliberation. "Pretty, if you will; and decidedly
pleasing and attractive in manner."
He looked me up and down, as if he found me a person singularly
deficient in taste and appreciation. "Ah, but then, you are her
cousin," he said at last, with a compassionate tone. "That makes a
difference."
"I quite see all Daphne's strong points," I answered, still
smiling, for I could perceive he was very far gone. "She is good-
looking, and she is clever."
"Clever!" he echoed. "Profound! She has a most unusual intellect.
She stands alone."
"Like her mother's silk dresses," I murmured, half under my breath.
He took no notice of my flippant remark, but went on with his
rhapsody. "Such depth; such penetration! And then, how
sympathetic! Why, even to a mere casual acquaintance like myself,
she is so kind, so discerning!"
"Are you such a casual acquaintance?" I inquired, with a smile.
(It might have shocked Aunt Fanny to hear me; but that is the way
we ask a young man his intentions nowadays.)
He stopped short and hesitated. "Oh, quite casual," he replied,
almost stammering. "Most casual, I assure you. . . . I have never
ventured to do myself the honour of supposing that . . . that Miss
Tepping could possibly care for me."
"There is such a thing as being too modest and unassuming," I
answered. "It sometimes leads to unintentional cruelty."
"No, do you think so?" he cried, his face falling all at once. "I
should blame myself bitterly if that were so. Dr. Cumberledge, you
are her cousin. Do you gather that I have acted in such a way as
to--to lead Miss Tepping to suppose I felt any affection for her?"
I laughed in his face. "My dear boy," I answered, laying one hand
on his shoulder, "may I say the plain truth? A blind bat could see
you are madly in love with her."
His mouth twitched. "That's very serious!" he answered, gravely;
"very serious."
"It is," I responded, with my best paternal manner, gazing blankly
in front of me.
He stopped short again. "Look here," he said, facing me. "Are you
busy? No? Then come back with me to my rooms; and--I'll make a
clean breast of it."
"By all means," I assented. "When one is young--and foolish--I
have often noticed, as a medical man, that a drachm of clean breast
is a magnificent prescription."
He walked back by my side, talking all the way of Daphne's many
adorable qualities. He exhausted the dictionary for laudatory
adjectives. By the time I reached his door it was not his fault if
I had not learned that the angelic hierarchy were not in the
running with my pretty cousin for graces and virtues. I felt that
Faith, Hope, and Charity ought to resign at once in favour of Miss
Daphne Tepping, promoted.
He took me into his comfortably furnished rooms--the luxurious
rooms of a rich young bachelor, with taste as well as money--and
offered me a partaga. Now, I have long observed, in the course of
my practice, that a choice cigar assists a man in taking a
philosophic outlook on the question under discussion; so I accepted
the partaga. He sat down opposite me and pointed to a photograph
in the centre of his mantlepiece. "I am engaged to that lady," he
put in, shortly.
He started and looked surprised. "Why, what made you guess it?" he
inquired.
I smiled the calm smile of superior age--I was some eight years or
so his senior. "My dear fellow," I murmured, "what else could
prevent you from proposing to Daphne--when you are so undeniably in
love with her?"
"A great deal," he answered. "For example, the sense of my own
utter unworthiness."
"One's own unworthiness," I replied, "though doubtless real--p'f,
p'f--is a barrier that most of us can readily get over when our
admiration for a particular lady waxes strong enough. So this is
the prior attachment!" I took the portrait down and scanned it.
I scrutinised the features. "Seems a nice enough little thing," I
answered. It was an innocent face, I admit; very frank and
girlish.
He leaned forward eagerly. "That's just it. A nice enough little
thing! Nothing in the world to be said against her. While Daphne--
Miss Tepping, I mean--" His silence was ecstatic.
I examined the photograph still more closely. It displayed a lady
of twenty or thereabouts, with a weak face, small, vacant features,
a feeble chin, a good-humoured, simple mouth, and a wealth of
golden hair that seemed to strike a keynote.
"In the theatrical profession?" I inquired at last, looking up.
I pursed my lips and blew a ring. "Music-hall stage?" I went on,
dubiously.
He nodded. "But a girl is not necessarily any the less a lady
because she sings at a music-hall," he added, with warmth,
displaying an evident desire to be just to his betrothed, however
much he admired Daphne.
"Certainly not," I admitted. "A lady is a lady; no occupation can
in itself unladify her. . . . But on the music-hall stage, the
odds, one must admit, are on the whole against her."
"One may be quite unprejudiced," I answered, "and yet allow that
connection with the music-halls does not, as such, afford clear
proof that a girl is a compound of all the virtues."
"That's a poor ground of marriage," I went on. "Mind, I don't want
for a moment to influence you, as Daphne's cousin. I want to get
at the truth of the situation. I don't even know what Daphne
thinks of you. But you promised me a clean breast. Be a man and
bare it."
He bared it instantly. "I thought I was in love with this girl,
you see," he went on, "till I saw Miss Tepping."
"Heaven forbid!" I cried. "It is the one unpardonable sin. Better
anything than that." Then I grew practical. "Father's consent?"
"My father's? Is it likely? He expects me to marry into some
distinguished English family."
I hummed a moment. "Well, out with it!" I exclaimed, pointing my
cigar at him.
He leaned back in his chair and told me the whole story. A pretty
girl; golden hair; introduced to her by a friend; nice, simple
little thing; mind and heart above the irregular stage on to which
she had been driven by poverty alone; father dead; mother in
reduced circumstances. "To keep the home together, poor Sissie
decided--"
"Precisely so," I murmured, knocking off my ash. "The usual self-
sacrifice! Case quite normal! Everything en regle!"
"You don't mean to say you doubt it?" he cried, flushing up, and
evidently regarding me as a hopeless cynic. "I do assure you, Dr.
Cumberledge, the poor child--though miles, of course, below Miss
Tepping's level--is as innocent, and as good--"
"As a flower in May. Oh, yes; I don't doubt it. How did you come
to propose to her, though?"
He reddened a little. "Well, it was almost accidental," he said,
sheepishly. "I called there one evening, and her mother had a
headache and went up to bed. And when we two were left alone,
Sissie talked a great deal about her future and how hard her life
was. And after a while she broke down and began to cry. And then--"
I cut him short with a wave of my hand. "You need say no more," I
put in, with a sympathetic face. "We have all been there."
We paused a moment, while I puffed smoke at the photograph again.
"Well," I said at last, "her face looks to me really simple and
nice. It is a good face. Do you see her often?"
"Would you think it an unpardonable impertinence if I made bold to
ask whether it would be possible for you to show me a specimen of
her letters?"
He unlocked a drawer and took out three or four. Then he read one
through, carefully. "I don't think," he said, in a deliberative
voice, "it would be a serious breach of confidence in me to let you
look through this one. There's really nothing in it, you know--
just the ordinary average every-day love-letter."
I glanced through the little note. He was right. The conventional
hearts and darts epistle. It sounded nice enough: "Longing to see
you again; so lonely in this place; your dear sweet letter; looking
forward to the time; your ever-devoted Sissie."
"That seems straight," I answered. "However, I am not quite sure.
Will you allow me to take it away, with the photograph? I know I
am asking much. I want to show it to a lady in whose tact and
discrimination I have the greatest confidence."
I smiled. "No, not Daphne," I answered. "Our friend, Miss Wade.
She has extraordinary insight."
"I could trust anything to Miss Wade. She is true as steel."
"You are right," I answered. "That shows that you, too, are a
judge of character."
He hesitated. "I feel a brute," he cried, "to go on writing every
day to Sissie Montague--and yet calling every day to see Miss
Tepping. But still--I do it."
I grasped his hand. "My dear fellow," I said, "nearly ninety per
cent. of men, after all--are human!"
I took both letter and photograph back with me to Nathaniel's.
When I had gone my rounds that night, I carried them into Hilda
Wade's room and told her the story. Her face grew grave. "We must
be just," she said at last. "Daphne is deeply in love with him;
but even for Daphne's sake, we must not take anything for granted
against the other lady."
I produced the photograph. "What do you make of that?" I asked.
"I think it an honest face, myself, I may tell you."
She scrutinised it long and closely with a magnifier. Then she put
her head on one side and mused very deliberately. "Madeline Shaw
gave me her photograph the other day, and said to me, as she gave
it, 'I do so like these modern portraits; they show one what might
have been.'"
"Exactly. That, as it stands, is a sweet, innocent face--an honest
girl's face--almost babyish in its transparency but . . . the
innocence has all been put into it by the photographer."
"I know it. Look here at those lines just visible on the cheek.
They disappear, nowhere, at impossible angles. And the corners of
that mouth. They couldn't go so, with that nose and those puckers.
The thing is not real. It has been atrociously edited. Part is
nature's; part, the photographer's; part, even possibly paint and
powder."
I handed her the letter. "This next?" I asked, fixing my eyes on
her as she looked.
She read it through. For a minute or two she examined it. "The
letter is right enough," she answered, after a second reading,
"though its guileless simplicity is, perhaps, under the
circumstances, just a leetle overdone; but the handwriting--the
handwriting is duplicity itself: a cunning, serpentine hand, no
openness or honesty in it. Depend upon it, that girl is playing a
double game."
"You believe, then, there is character in handwriting?"
"Undoubtedly; when we know the character, we can see it in the
writing. The difficulty is, to see it and read it before we know
it; and I have practised a little at that. There is character in
all we do, of course--our walk, our cough, the very wave of our
hands; the only secret is, not all of us have always skill to see
it. Here, however, I feel pretty sure. The curls of the g's and
the tails of the y's--how full they are of wile, of low, underhand
trickery!"
I looked at them as she pointed. "That is true!" I exclaimed. "I
see it when you show it. Lines meant for effect. No straightness
or directness in them!"
Hilda reflected a moment. "Poor Daphne!" she murmured. "I would
do anything to help her. . . . I'll tell what might be a good
plan." Her face brightened. "My holiday comes next week. I'll
run down to Scarborough--it's as nice a place for a holiday as any--
and I'll observe this young lady. It can do no harm--and good may
come of it."
"How kind of you!" I cried. "But you are always all kindness."
Hilda went to Scarborough, and came back again for a week before
going on to Bruges, where she proposed to spend the greater part of
her holidays. She stopped a night or two in town to report
progress, and, finding another nurse ill, promised to fill her
place till a substitute was forthcoming.
"Well, Dr. Cumberledge," she said, when she saw me alone, "I was
right! I have found out a fact or two about Daphne's rival!"
"Seen her? I have stopped for a week in the same house. A very
nice lodging-house on the Spa front, too. The girl's well enough
off. The poverty plea fails. She goes about in good rooms and
carries a mother with her."
"That's well," I answered. "That looks all right."
"Oh, yes, she's quite presentable: has the manners of a lady
whenever she chooses. But the chief point is this: she laid her
letters every day on the table in the passage outside her door for
post--laid them all in a row, so that when one claimed one's own
one couldn't help seeing them."
"Well, that was open and aboveboard," I continued, beginning to
fear we had hastily misjudged Miss Sissie Montague.
"Very open--too much so, in fact; for I was obliged to note the
fact that she wrote two letters regularly every day of her life--
'to my two mashes,' she explained one afternoon to a young man who
was with her as she laid them on the table. One of them was always
addressed to Cecil Holsworthy, Esq."
I read it: "Reginald Nettlecraft, Esq., 427, Staples Inn, London."
"What, Reggie Nettlecraft!" I cried, amused. "Why, he was a very
little boy at Charterhouse when I was a big one; he afterwards went
to Oxford, and got sent down from Christ Church for the part he
took in burning a Greek bust in Tom Quad--an antique Greek bust--
after a bump supper."
"Just the sort of man I should have expected," Hilda answered, with
a suppressed smile. "I have a sort of inkling that Miss Montague
likes him best; he is nearer her type; but she thinks Cecil
Holsworthy the better match. Has Mr. Nettlecraft money?"
"Not a penny, I should say. An allowance from his father, perhaps,
who is a Lincolnshire parson; but otherwise, nothing."
"Then, in my opinion, the young lady is playing for Mr. Holsworthy's
money; failing which, she will decline upon Mr. Nettlecraft's
heart."
We talked it all over. In the end I said abruptly: "Nurse Wade,
you have seen Miss Montague, or whatever she calls herself. I have
not. I won't condemn her unheard. I have half a mind to run down
one day next week to Scarborough and have a look at her."
"Do. That will suffice. You can judge then for yourself whether
or not I am mistaken."
I went; and what is more, I heard Miss Sissie sing at her hall--a
pretty domestic song, most childish and charming. She impressed me
not unfavourably, in spite of what Hilda said. Her peach-blossom
cheek might have been art, but looked like nature. She had an open
face, a baby smile and there was a frank girlishness about her
dress and manner that took my fancy. "After all," I thought to
myself, "even Hilda Wade is fallible."
So that evening, when her "turn" was over, I made up my mind to go
round and call upon her. I had told Cecil Holsworthy my intentions
beforehand, and it rather shocked him. He was too much of a
gentleman to wish to spy upon the girl he had promised to marry.
However, in my case, there need be no such scruples. I found the
house and asked for Miss Montague. As I mounted the stairs to the
drawing-room floor, I heard a sound of voices--the murmur of
laughter; idiotic guffaws, suppressed giggles, the masculine and
feminine varieties of tomfoolery.
"You'd make a splendid woman of business, you would!" a young man
was saying. I gathered from his drawl that he belonged to that
sub-species of the human race which is known as the Chappie.
"Wouldn't I just?" a girl's voice answered, tittering. I
recognised it as Sissie's. "You ought to see me at it! Why, my
brother set up a place once for mending bicycles; and I used to
stand about at the door, as if I had just returned from a ride; and
when fellows came in, with a nut loose or something, I'd begin
talking with them while Bertie tightened it. Then, when they
weren't looking, I'd dab the business end of a darning-needle, so,
just plump into their tires; and of course, as soon as they went
off, they were back again in a minute to get a puncture mended! I
call that business."
A roar of laughter greeted the recital of this brilliant incident
in a commercial career. As it subsided, I entered. There were two
men in the room, besides Miss Montague and her mother, and a second
young lady.
"Excuse this late call," I said, quietly, bowing. "But I have only
one night in Scarborough, Miss Montague, and I wanted to see you.
I'm a friend of Mr. Holsworthy's. I told him I'd look you up, and
this is my sole opportunity."
Ifelt rather than saw that Miss Montague darted a quick glance of
hidden meaning at her friends the chappies; their faces, in
response, ceased to snigger and grew instantly sober.
She took my card; then, in her alternative manner as the perfect
lady, she presented me to her mother. "Dr. Cumberledge, mamma,"
she said, in a faintly warning voice. "A friend of Mr.
Holsworthy's."
The old lady half rose. "Let me see," she said, staring at me.
"Which is Mr. Holsworthy, Siss?--is it Cecil or Reggie?"
One of the chappies burst into a fatuous laugh once more at this
remark. "Now, you're giving away the whole show, Mrs. Montague!"
he exclaimed, with a chuckle. A look from Miss Sissie immediately
checked him.
I am bound to admit, however, that after these untoward incidents
of the first minute, Miss Montague and her friends behaved
throughout with distinguished propriety. Her manners were perfect--
I may even say demure. She asked about "Cecil" with charming
naivete. She was frank and girlish. Lots of innocent fun in her,
no doubt--she sang us a comic song in excellent taste, which is a
severe test--but not a suspicion of double-dealing. If I had not
overheard those few words as I came up the stairs, I think I should
have gone away believing the poor girl an injured child of nature.
As it was, I went back to London the very next day, determined to
renew my slight acquaintance with Reggie Nettlecraft.
Fortunately, I had a good excuse for going to visit him. I had
been asked to collect among old Carthusians for one of those
endless "testimonials" which pursue one through life, and are,
perhaps, the worst Nemesis which follows the crime of having wasted
one's youth at a public school: a testimonial for a retiring
master, or professional cricketer, or washerwoman, or something;
and in the course of my duties as collector it was quite natural
that I should call upon all my fellow-victims. So I went to his
rooms in Staples Inn and reintroduced myself.
Reggie Nettlecraft had grown up into an unwholesome, spotty,
indeterminate young man, with a speckled necktie, and cuffs of which
he was inordinately proud, and which he insisted on "flashing" every
second minute. He was also evidently self-satisfied; which was
odd, for I have seldom seen anyone who afforded less cause for
rational satisfaction. "Hullo," he said, when I told him my name.
"So it's you, is it, Cumberledge?" He glanced at my card. "St.
Nathaniel's Hospital! What rot! Why, blow me tight if you haven't
turned sawbones!"
"That is my profession," I answered, unashamed. "And you?"
"Oh, I don't have any luck, you know, old man. They turned me out
of Oxford because I had too much sense of humour for the
authorities there--beastly set of old fogeys! Objected to my
'chucking' oyster shells at the tutors' windows--good old English
custom, fast becoming obsolete. Then I crammed for the Army. But,
bless your heart, a gentleman has no chance for the Army nowadays;
a pack of blooming cads, with what they call 'intellect,' read up
for the exams, and don't give us a look-in; I call it sheer piffle.
Then the Guv'nor set me on electrical engineering--electrical
engineering's played out. I put no stock in it; besides, it's
such beastly fag; and then, you get your hands dirty. So now I'm
reading for the Bar; and if only my coach can put me up to tips
enough to dodge the examiners, I expect to be called some time next
summer."
"And when you have failed for everything?" I inquired, just to test
his sense of humour.
He swallowed it like a roach. "Oh, when I've failed for everything,
I shall stick up to the Guv'nor. Hang it all, a gentleman can't be
expected to earn his own livelihood. England's going to the dogs,
that's where it is; no snug little sinecures left for chaps like you
and me; all this beastly competition. And no respect for the
feelings of gentlemen, either! Why, would you believe it,
Cumberground--we used to call you Cumberground at Charterhouse, I
remember, or was it Fig Tree?--I happened to get a bit lively in the
Haymarket last week, after a rattling good supper, and the chap at
the police court--old cove with a squint--positively proposed to
send me to prison, without the option of a fine!--I'll trouble you
for that--send me to prison just--for knocking down a common brute
of a bobby. There's no mistake about it; England's not a country
now for a gentleman to live in."
"Then why not mark your sense of the fact by leaving it?" I
inquired, with a smile.
He shook his head. "What? Emigrate? No, thank you! I'm not
taking any. None of your colonies for me, if you please. I shall
stick to the old ship. I'm too much attached to the Empire."
"And yet imperialists," I said, "generally gush over the colonies--
the Empire on which the sun never sets."
"The Empire in Leicester Squire!" he responded, gazing at me with
unspoken contempt. "Have a whisky-and-soda, old chap? What, no?
'Never drink between meals?' Well, you do surprise me! I suppose
that comes of being a sawbones, don't it?"
"Possibly," I answered. "We respect our livers." Then I went on
to the ostensible reason of my visit--the Charterhouse testimonial.
He slapped his thighs metaphorically, by way of suggesting the
depleted condition of his pockets. "Stony broke, Cumberledge," he
murmured; "stony broke! Honour bright! Unless Bluebird pulls off
the Prince of Wales's Stakes, I really don't know how I'm to pay
the Benchers."
"It's quite unimportant," I answered. "I was asked to ask you, and
I have asked you."
"So I twig, my dear fellow. Sorry to have to say no. But I'll
tell you what I can do for you; I can put you upon a straight
thing--"
I glanced at the mantelpiece. "I see you have a photograph of Miss
Sissie Montague," I broke in casually, taking it down and examining
it. "With an autograph, too. 'Reggie, from Sissie.' You are a
friend of hers?"
"A friend of hers? I'll trouble you. She is a clinker, Sissie is!
You should see that girl smoke. I give you my word of honour,
Cumberledge, she can consume cigarettes against any fellow I know
in London. Hang it all, a girl like that, you know--well, one
can't help admiring her! Ever seen her?"
"Oh, yes; I know her. I called on her, in fact, night before last,
at Scarborough."
He whistled a moment, then broke into an imbecile laugh. "My gum,"
he cried; "this is a start, this is! You don't mean to tell me you
are the other Johnnie."
"What other Johnnie?" I asked, feeling we were getting near it.
He leaned back and laughed again. "Well, you know that girl
Sissie, she's a clever one, she is," he went on after a minute,
staring at me. "She's a regular clinker! Got two strings to her
bow; that's where the trouble comes in. Me and another fellow.
She likes me for love and the other fellow for money. Now, don't
you come and tell me that you are the other fellow."
"I have certainly never aspired to the young lady's hand," I
answered, cautiously. "But don't you know your rival's name,
then?"
"That's Sissie's blooming cleverness. She's a caulker, Sissie is;
you don't take a rise out of Sissie in a hurry. She knows that if
I knew who the other bloke was, I'd blow upon her little game to
him and put him off her. And I would, s'ep me taters; for I'm nuts
on that girl. I tell you, Cumberledge, she is a clinker!"
"You seem to me admirably adapted for one another," I answered,
truthfully. I had not the slightest compunction in handing Reggie
Nettlecraft over to Sissie, nor in handing Sissie over to Reggie
Nettlecraft.
"Adapted for one another? That's just it. There, you hit the
right nail plump on the cocoanut, Cumberground! But Sissie's an
artful one, she is. She's playing for the other Johnnie. He's got
the dibs, you know; and Sissie wants the dibs even more than she
wants yours truly."
"Got what?" I inquired, not quite catching the phrase.
"The dibs, old man; the chink; the oof; the ready rhino. He rolls
in it, she says. I can't find out the chap's name, but I know his
Guv'nor's something or other in the millionaire trade somewhere
across in America."
"That's so; every blooming day; but how the dummy did you come to
know it?"
"She lays letters addressed to you on the hall table at her
lodgings in Scarborough."
"The dickens she does! Careless little beggar! Yes, she writes to
me--pages. She's awfully gone on me, really. She'd marry me if it
wasn't for the Johnnie with the dibs. She doesn't care for him:
she wants his money. He dresses badly, don't you see; and, after
all, the clothes make the man! I'D like to get at him. I'D spoil
his pretty face for him." And he assumed a playfully pugilistic
attitude.
"You really want to get rid of this other fellow?" I asked, seeing
my chance.
"Get rid of him? Why, of course! Chuck him into the river some
nice dark night if I could once get a look at him!"
"As a preliminary step, would you mind letting me see one of Miss
Montague's letters?" I inquired.
He drew a long breath. "They're a bit affectionate, you know," he
murmured, stroking his beardless chin in hesitation. "She's a hot
'un, Sissie is. She pitches it pretty warm on the affection-stop,
I can tell you. But if you really think you can give the other
Johnnie a cut on the head with her letters--well, in the interests
of true love, which never does run smooth, I don't mind letting you
have a squint, as my friend, at one of her charming billy-doos."
He took a bundle from a drawer, ran his eye over one or two with a
maudlin air, and then selected a specimen not wholly unsuitable for
publication. "There's one in the eye for C.," he said, chuckling.
"What would C. say to that, I wonder? She always calls him C., you
know; it's so jolly non-committing. She says, 'I only wish that
beastly old bore C. were at Halifax--which is where he comes from
and then I would fly at once to my own dear Reggie! But, hang it
all, Reggie boy, what's the good of true love if you haven't got
the dibs? I must have my comforts. Love in a cottage is all very
well in its way; but who's to pay for the fizz, Reggie?' That's
her refinement, don't you see? Sissie's awfully refined. She was
brought up with the tastes and habits of a lady."
"Clearly so," I answered. "Both her literary style and her liking
for champagne abundantly demonstrate it!" His acute sense of
humour did not enable him to detect the irony of my observation. I
doubt if it extended much beyond oyster shells. He handed me the
letter. I read it through with equal amusement and gratification.
If Miss Sissie had written it on purpose in order to open Cecil
Holsworthy's eyes, she couldn't have managed the matter better or
more effectually. It breathed ardent love, tempered by a
determination to sell her charms in the best and highest
matrimonial market.
"Now, I know this man, C.," I said when I had finished. And I want
to ask whether you will let me show him Miss Montague's letter. It
would set him against the girl, who, as a matter of fact, is wholly
unwor--I mean totally unfitted for him."
"Let you show it to him? Like a bird! Why, Sissie promised me
herself that if she couldn't bring 'that solemn ass, C.,' up to the
scratch by Christmas, she'd chuck him and marry me. It's here, in
writing." And he handed me another gem of epistolary literature.
"You have no compunctions?" I asked again, after reading it.
I felt they both deserved it. Sissie was a minx, as Hilda rightly
judged; while as for Nettlecraft--well, if a public school and an
English university leave a man a cad, a cad he will be, and there
is nothing more to be said about it.
I went straight off with the letters to Cecil Holsworthy. He read
them through, half incredulously at first; he was too honest-
natured himself to believe in the possibility of such double-
dealing--that one could have innocent eyes and golden hair and yet
be a trickster. He read them twice; then he compared them word for
word with the simple affection and childlike tone of his own last
letter received from the same lady. Her versatility of style would
have done honour to a practised literary craftsman. At last he
handed them back to me. "Do you think," he said, "on the evidence
of these, I should be doing wrong in breaking with her?"
"Wrong in breaking with her!" I exclaimed. "You would be doing
wrong if you didn't,--wrong to yourself; wrong to your family;
wrong, if I may venture to say so, to Daphne; wrong even in the
long run to the girl herself; for she is not fitted for you, and
she is fitted for Reggie Nettlecraft. Now, do as I bid you. Sit
down at once and write her a letter from my dictation."
He sat down and wrote, much relieved that I took the responsibility
off his shoulders.
"DEAR MISS MONTAGUE," I began, "the inclosed letters have come into
my hands without my seeking it. After reading them, I feel that I
have absolutely no right to stand between you and the man of your
real choice. It would not be kind or wise of me to do so. I
release you at once, and consider myself released. You may
therefore regard our engagement as irrevocably cancelled.
"Nothing more than that?" he asked, looking up and biting his pen.
"Not a word of regret or apology?"
"Not a word," I answered. "You are really too lenient."
I made him take it out and post it before he could invent
conscientious scruples. Then he turned to me irresolutely. "What
shall I do next?" he asked, with a comical air of doubt.
I smiled. "My dear fellow, that is a matter for your own
consideration."
"I am not in not in Daphne's confidence," I answered. "I don't
know how she feels. But, on the face of it, I think I can venture
to assure you that at least she won't laugh at you."
He grasped my hand hard. "You don't mean to say so!" he cried.
"Well, that's really very, kind of her! A girl of Daphne's high
type! And I, who feel myself so utterly unworthy of her!"
"We are all unworthy of a good woman's love," I answered. "But,
thank Heaven, the good women don't seem to realise it."
That evening, about ten, my new friend came back in a hurry to my
rooms at St. Nathaniel's. Nurse Wade was standing there, giving
her report for the night when he entered. His face looked some
inches shorter and broader than usual. His eyes beamed. His mouth
was radiant.
"Well, you won't believe it, Dr. Cumberledge," he began; "but--"
"Yes, I do believe it," I answered. "I know it. I have read it
already."
I waved my hand towards his face. "In a special edition of the
evening papers," I answered, smiling. "Daphne has accepted you!"
He sank into an easy chair, beside himself with rapture. "Yes,
yes; that angel! Thanks to you, she has accepted me!"
"Thanks to Miss Wade," I said, correcting him. "It is really all
her doing. If she had not seen through the photograph to the face,
and through the face to the woman and the base little heart of her,
we might never have found her out."
He turned to Hilda with eyes all gratitude. "You have given me the
dearest and best girl on earth," he cried, seizing both her hands.
"And I have given Daphne a husband who will love and appreciate
her," Hilda answered, flushing.
"You see," I said, maliciously; "I told you they never find us out,
Holsworthy!"
As for Reggie Nettlecraft and his wife, I should like to add that
they are getting on quite as well as could be expected. Reggie has
joined his Sissie on the music-hall stage; and all those who have
witnessed his immensely popular performance of the Drunken
Gentleman before the Bow Street Police Court acknowledge without
reserve that, after "failing for everything," he has dropped at
last into his true vocation. His impersonation of the part is said
to be "nature itself." I see no reason to doubt it.