Book II. The House and the Room
XX. What Had Made the Change?
"Reuther, sit up here close by mother and let me talk to you for a
little while."
"Yes, mother; oh, yes, mother." Deborah felt the beloved head
pressed close to her shoulder and two soft arms fall about her
neck.
"Are you very unhappy? Is my little one pining too much for the
old days?"
A closer pressure of the head, a more vehement clasp of the
encircling arms, but no words.
"You have seemed brighter lately. I have heard you sing now and
then as if the joy of youth was not quite absent from your heart.
Is that true, or were you merely trying to cheer your mother?"
"I am afraid I was trying to cheer the judge," came in low whisper
to her ear. "When I hear his step in the study--that monotonous
tramp, tramp, which we both dread, I feel such an ache here, such
a desire to comfort him, that I try the one little means I have to
divert him from his thoughts. He must be so lonely without--"
"Reuther, you forget how many years have passed since he had a
companion. A man becomes used to loneliness. A judge with heavy
cases on his mind must think and think very closely, you know."
"Oh, mamma, it's not of his cases our judge is thinking when he
walks like that. I know him too well, love him too well, not to
feel the trouble in his step. I may be wrong, but all the sympathy
and understanding I may not give to Oliver I devote to his father,
and when he walks like that he seems to drag my heart after him.
Mamma, mamma, do not blame me. I have just as much affection for
you, and I suffer just as keenly when I see you unhappy. And,
mamma, are you sure that you are quite happy to-day? You look as
if something had happened to trouble you--something more than
usual, I mean."
They were sitting in the dark, with just the light of the stars
shining through the upper panes of the one unshaded window.
Deborah, therefore, had little to fear from her daughter's eye,
only from the sensitiveness of her touch and the quickness of her
ear. Alas, in this delicately organised girl these were both
attuned to the nicest discrimination, and before the mother could
speak, Reuther had started up, crying:
"Oh, how your heart beats! Something has happened, darling mother;
something which--"
"Hush, Reuther; it is only this: When I came to Shelby it was with
a hope that I might some day smooth the way to your happiness. But
it was only a wild dream, Reuther; and the hour has come for me to
tell you so. What joys are left us must come in other ways; love
unblessed must be put aside resolutely and forever."
She felt the shudder pass through the slender form which had
thrown itself again at her side; but when the young girl spoke it
was with unexpected bravery and calm.
"I have long ago done that, mamma. I've had no hopes from the
first. The look with which Oliver accepted my refusal to go on
with the ceremony was one of gratitude, mother. I can never forget
that. Relief struggled with grief. Would you have me cherish any
further illusions after that?"
Mrs. Scoville was silent. So, after all, Reuther had not been so
blind on that day as she had always feared.
"Oliver has faults--Oh, let me talk about him just for once,
darling mother," the poor, stricken child babbled on. "His temper
is violent, or so he has often told me, coming and going like a
gust of--No, mamma, don't make me stop. If he has faults he has
good traits too. He was always gentle with me and if that far-away
look you did not like would come at times and take him, as it
were, out of our world, such a sweet awakening would follow when
he realised that I was waiting for his spirit to come back, that I
never minded the mystery, in my joy at the comfort which my love
gave him."
"Mother, I can soothe the father, but I can no longer soothe
Oliver. That is my saddest thought. It makes me wish, sometimes,
that he would find another loving heart on which he could lean
without any self-reproach. I should soon learn to bear it. It
would so assure his future and rid me of the fear that he may fail
to hold the place he has won by such hard work and persistence."
A moment's silence, then a last appeal on the part of the mother.
"Then you will not think me unkind or even untender if I say that
every loving thought you give now to Oliver is hurtful both to
yourself and to me. Don't indulge in them, my darling. Put your
heart into work or into music, and your mother will bless you.
Won't it help you to know this, Reuther? Your mother, who has had
her griefs, will bless you."
That night, at a later hour, Deborah struggled with a great
temptation.
The cap which hung in Oliver's closet--the knife which lay in the
drawer of Oliver's desk--were to her mind positive proofs of his
actual connection with the crime she now wished to see buried for
all time in her husband's grave. The threat of that unknown
indicter of mysterious letters, I know a witness, had sunk deep
into her mind. A witness of what? Of anything which the discovery
of these articles might substantiate? If so, what peril remained
in their continued preservation when an effort on her part might
so easily destroy them.
Sleep, long a stranger to her pillow, forsook her entirely as she
faced this question and realised the gain in peace which might be
hers if cap and knife were gone. Why then did she allow them to
remain, the one in the closet, the other in the drawer? Because
she could not help herself. Instinct was against her meddling with
these possible proofs of crime.
But this triumph of conscience cost her dear. The next morning
found her pale--almost as pale as Reuther. Was that why the judge
surveyed her so intently as she poured out the coffee, and seemed
more than once on the point of addressing her particularly, as she
went through the usual routine of tidying up his room?
She asked herself this question more than once, and found it
answered every time she hurried by the mirror. Certainly she
showed a remarkable pallor.
Knowing its cause herself, she did not invite his inquiries; and
another day passed. With the following morning she felt strong
enough to open the conversation which had now become necessary for
her peace of mind.
She waited till the moment when, her work all done, she was about
to leave his presence. Pausing till she caught his eye, which
seemed a little loth, she thought, to look her way, she observed,
with perhaps unnecessary distinctness:
"I hope that everything is to your mind, Judge Ostrander. I should
be sorry not to make you as comfortable as is possible under the
circumstances."
Roused a little suddenly, perhaps, from thoughts quite
disconnected with those of material comfort, he nodded with the
abstraction of one who recognises that some sort of acknowledgment
is expected from him; then, seeing her still waiting, added
politely:
"I am very well looked after, if that is what you mean, Mrs.
Scoville. Bela could not do any better--if he ever did as well."
"I am glad," she replied, thinking with what humour this would
have struck her once. "I--I ask because, having nothing on my mind
but housekeeping, I desire to remedy anything which is not in
accordance with your exact wishes."
His attention was caught and by the very phrase she desired.
"Nothing on your mind but housekeeping?" he repeated. "I thought
you had something else of a very particular nature with which to
occupy yourself."
"I had; but I have been advised against pursuing it. The folly was
too great."
The words came short and sharp just as they must have come in
those old days when he confronted his antagonists at the bar.
"Mr. Black. He was my husband's counsel, you remember. He says
that I should only have my trouble for my pains, and I have come
to agree with him. Reuther must content herself with the happiness
of living under this roof; and I, with the hope of contributing to
your comfort."
Had she impressed him? Had she played her part with success? Dare
she lift her eye and meet the gaze she felt concentrated upon her?
No. He must speak first. She must have some clew to the effect she
had produced before she risked his penetration by a direct look.
She had to wait longer than her beating heart desired. He had his
own agitation to master, and possibly his own doubts. This was not
the fiery, determined woman he had encountered amid the ruins of
Spencer's Folly. What had made the change? Black's discouraging
advice? Hardly. Why should she take from that hard-faced lawyer
what she had not been willing to take from himself? There must
have been some other influencing cause.
His look, his attitude, his voice, betrayed his hesitations, as he
finally remarked:
"Black is a man of excellent counsel, but he is hard as a stone
and not of the sort whose monitions I should expect to have weight
with one like you. What did he put in the balance,--or what have
others put in the balance, to send your passionate intentions
flying up to the beam? I should be glad to hear."
Should she tell him? She had a momentary impulse that way. Then
the irrevocableness of such a move frightened her; and, pale with
dismay at what she felt to be a narrow escape from a grave error
of judgment, she answered with just enough truth, for her to hope
that the modicum of falsehood accompanying it would escape his
attention:
"What has changed my intentions? My experience here, Judge
Ostrander. With every day I pass under this roof, I realise more
and more the mistake I made in supposing that any change in
circumstances would make a union between our two children proper
or feasible. Headstrong as I am by nature, I have still some sense
of the fitness of things, and it is that sense awakened by a
better knowledge of what the Ostrander name stands for, which has
outweighed my hopes and mad intentions. I am sorry that I ever
troubled you with them."
The words were ambiguous; startlingly so, she felt; but, in hope
that they would strike him otherwise, she found courage at last to
raise her eyes in search of what lay in his. Nothing, or so she
thought at first, beyond the glint of a natural interest; then her
mind changed, and she felt that it would take one much better
acquainted with his moods than herself to read to its depths a
gaze so sombre and inscrutable.
His answer, coming after a moment of decided suspense, only
deepened this impression. It was to this effect:
"Madam, we have said our say on this subject. If you have come to
see the matter as I see it, I can but congratulate you upon your
good sense, and express the hope that it will continue to prevail.
Reuther is worthy of the best--" he stopped abruptly. "Reuther is
a girl after my own heart," he gently supplemented, with a glance
towards his papers lying in a bundle at his elbow, "and she shall
not suffer because of this disappointment to her girlish hopes.
Tell her so with my love."
It was a plain dismissal. Mrs. Scoville took it as such, and
quietly left the room. As she did so she was approached by Reuther
who handed her a letter which had just been delivered. It was from
Mr. Black and read thus:
We have found the rogue and have succeeded in inducing him to
leave town. He's a man in the bill-sticking business and he owns
to a grievance against the person we know.