The Schofield household was catless this winter but there was a
nice white cat at the Williams'. Penrod strolled thoughtfully
over to the Williams's yard.
He was entirely successful, not even having been seen by the
sensitive coloured woman, aged fifty-three years and four months.
But still Penrod was thoughtful. The artist within him was
unsatisfied with his materials: and upon his return to the stable
he placed the cat beneath an overturned box, and once more sat
down in the inspiring wheelbarrow, pondering. His expression,
concentrated and yet a little anxious, was like that of a painter
at work upon a portrait that may or may not turn out to be a
masterpiece. The cat did not disturb him by her purring, though
she was, indeed, already purring. She was one of those cozy,
youngish cats--plump, even a little full-bodied, perhaps, and
rather conscious of the figure--that are entirely conventional
and domestic by nature, and will set up a ladylike housekeeping
anywhere without making a fuss about it. If there be a fault in
these cats, overcomplacency might be the name for it; they err a
shade too sure of themselves, and their assumption that the world
means to treat them respectfully has just a little taint of the
grande dame. Consequently, they are liable to great outbreaks of
nervous energy from within, engendered by the extreme surprises
that life sometimes holds in store for them. They lack the
pessimistic imagination.
Mrs. Williams's cat was content upon a strange floor and in the
confining enclosure of a strange box. She purred for a time, then
trustfully fell asleep. 'Twas well she slumbered; she would need
all her powers presently.
She slumbered, and dreamed not that she would wake to mingle with
events that were to alter her serene disposition radically and
cause her to become hasty-tempered and abnormally suspicious for
the rest of her life.
Meanwhile, Penrod appeared to reach a doubtful solution of his
problem. His expression was still somewhat clouded as he brought
from the storeroom of the stable a small fragment of a broken
mirror, two paint brushes and two old cans, one containing black
paint and the other white. He regarded himself earnestly in the
mirror; then, with some reluctance, he dipped a brush into one of
the cans, and slowly painted his nose a midnight black. He was on
the point of spreading this decoration to cover the lower part of
his face, when he paused, brush halfway between can and chin.
What arrested him was a sound from the alley--a sound of drumming
upon tin. The eyes of Penrod became significant of rushing
thoughts; his expression cleared and brightened. He ran to the
alley doors and flung them open.
Marching up and down before the cottage across the alley, Verman
plainly considered himself to be an army. Hanging from his
shoulders by a string was an old tin wash-basin, whereon he beat
cheerily with two dry bones, once the chief support of a chicken.
Thus he assuaged his ennui.
"Verman, come on in here," Penrod called. "I got sumpthing for
you to do you'll like awful well."
Verman halted, ceased to drum, and stared. His gaze was not fixed
particularly upon Penrod's nose, however, and neither now nor
later did he make any remark or gesture referring to this casual
eccentricity. He expected things like that upon Penrod or Sam
Williams. And as for Penrod himself, he had already forgotten
that his nose was painted.
Verman continued to stare, not moving. He had received such
invitations before, and they had not always resulted to his
advantage. Within that stable things had happened to him the like
of which he was anxious to avoid in the future.
"Oh, come ahead, Verman!" Penrod urged, and, divining logic in
the reluctance confronting him, he added, "This ain't goin' to be
anything like last time, Verman. I got sumpthing just splendud
for you to do!"
Verman's expression hardened; he shook his head decisively.
"Oh,come on, Verman?" Penrod pleaded. "It isn't anything goin'
to hurt you, is it? I tell you it's sumpthing you'd give a good
deal to get to do, if you knew what it is."
"Look, Verman!" he said. "Listen here a minute, can't you? How
d'you know you don't want to until you know what it is? A person
can't know they don't want to do a thing even before the other
person tells 'em what they're goin' to get 'em to do, can they?
For all you know, this thing I'm goin' to get you to do might be
sumpthing you wouldn't miss doin' for anything there is! For all
you know, Verman, it might be sumpthing like this: well,
f'rinstance, s'pose I was standin' here, and you were over there,
sort of like the way you are now, and I says, 'Hello, Verman!'
and then I'd go on and tell you there was sumpthing I was goin'
to get you to do; and you'd say you wouldn't do it, even before
you heard what it was, why where'd be any sense to that? For all
you know, I might of been goin' to get you to eat a five-cent bag
o' peanuts."
Verman had listened obdurately until he heard the last few words;
but as they fell upon his ear, he relaxed, and advanced to the
stable doors, smiling and extending his open right hand.
"Well," Penrod returned, a trifle embarrassed, "I didn't say it
was peanuts, did I? Honest, Verman, it's sumpthing you'll like
better'n a few old peanuts that most of 'em'd prob'ly have worms
in 'em, anyway. All I want you to do is--"
But Verman was not favourably impressed; his face hardened again.
"Look here, Verman," Penrod urged. "It isn't goin' to hurt you
just to come in here and see what I got for you, is it? You can
do that much, can't you?"
Surely such an appeal must have appeared reasonable, even to
Verman, especially since its effect was aided by the promising
words, "See what I got for you." Certainly Verman yielded to it,
though perhaps a little suspiciously. He advanced a few cautious
steps into the stable.
"Look!" Penrod cried, and he ran to the stuffed and linked
stockings, seized.the leading-string, and vigorously illustrated
his further remarks. "How's that for a big, long, ugly-faced
horr'ble black ole snake, Verman? Look at her follow me all round
anywhere I feel like goin'! Look at her wiggle, will you, though?
Look how I make her do anything I tell her to. Lay down, you ole
snake, you ~ See her lay down when I tell her to, Verman? Wiggle,
you ole snake, you! See her wiggle, Verman?"
"Now, listen, Verman!" Penrod continued, hastening to make the
most of the opportunity. "Listen! I fixed up this good ole snake
just for you. I'm goin' to give her to you."
On account of a previous experience not unconnected with cats,
and likely to prejudice Verman, Penrod decided to postpone
mentioning Mrs. Williams's pet until he should have secured
Verman's cooperation in the enterprise irretrievably.
"All you got to do," he went on, "is to chase this good ole snake
around, and sort o' laugh and keep pokin' it with the handle o'
that rake yonder. I'm goin' to saw it off just so's you can poke
your good ole snake with it, Verman."
"Aw wi," said Verman, and, extending his open hand again, he
uttered a hopeful request. "Peamup?"
His host perceived that Verman had misunderstood him. "Peanuts!"
he exclaimed. "My goodness! I didn't say I had any peanuts, did
I? I only said s'pose f'rinstance I did have some. My goodness!
You don't expeck me to go round here all day workin' like a dog
to make a good ole snake for you and then give you a bag o'
peanuts to hire you to play with it, do you, Verman? My
goodness!"
"Aw wi," he said, consenting to accept the snake without the
bonus.
"That's the boy! Now we're all right, Verman; and pretty soon I'm
goin' to saw that rake-handle off for you, too; so's you can
kind o' guide your good ole snake around with it; but
first--well, first there's just one more thing's got to be done.
I'll show you--it won't take but a minute." Then, while Verman
watched him wonderingly, he went to the can of white paint and
dipped a brush therein. "It won't get on your clo'es much, or
anything, Verman," he explained. "I only just got to--"
But as he approached, dripping brush in hand, the wondering look
was all gone from Verman; determination took its place.
"Mo!" he said, turned his back, and started for outdoors.
"Look here, Verman," Penrod cried. "I haven't done anything to
you yet, have I? It isn't goin' to hurt you, is it? You act like
a little teeny bit o' paint was goin' to kill you. What's the
matter of you? I only just got to paint the top part of your
face; I'm not goin' to touch the other part of it--nor your hands
or anything. All I want--"
"Oh, my goodness!" moaned Penrod; and in desperation he drew
forth from his pocket his entire fortune. "All right, Verman," he
said resignedly. "If you won't do it any other way, here's a
nickel, and you can go and buy you some peanuts when we get
through. But if I give you this money, you got to promise to wait
till we are through, and you got to promise to do anything I tell
you to. You goin' to promise?"
The eyes of Verman glistened; he returned, gave bond, and,
grasping the coin, burst into the rich laughter of a gourmand.
Penrod immediately painted him dead white above the eyes, all
round his head and including his hair. It took all the paint in
the can.
Then the artist mentioned the presence of Mrs. Williams's cat,
explained in full his ideas concerning the docile animal, and the
long black snake, and Della and her friend, Mrs. Cullen, while
Verman listened with anxiety, but remained true to his oath.
They removed the stocking at the end of the long black snake, and
cut four holes in the foot and ankle of it. They removed the
excelsior, placed Mrs. Williams's cat in tbe stocking, shook her
down into the lower section of it; drew her feet through the four
holes there, leaving her head in the toe of the stocking; then
packed the excelsior down on top of her, and once more attached
the stocking to the rest of the long, black snake.
How shameful is the ease of the historian! He sits in his
dressing-gown to write: "The enemy attacked in force--" The
tranquil pen, moving in a cloud of tobacco smoke, leaves upon the
page its little hieroglyphics, serenely summing up the monstrous
deeds and sufferings of men of action. How cold, how niggardly,
to state merely that Penrod and the painted Verman succeeded in
giving the long, black snake a motive power, or tractor,
apparently its own but consisting of Mrs. Williams's cat!
She was drowsy when they lifted her from the box; she was still
drowsy when they introduced part of her into the orifice of the
stocking; but she woke to full, vigorous young life when she
perceived that their purpose was for her to descend into the
black depths of that stocking head first.
Verman held the mouth of the stocking stretched, and Penrod
manipulated the cat; but she left her hearty mark on both of them
before, in a moment of unfortunate inspiration, she humped her
back while she was upside down, and Penrod took advantage of the
concavity to increase it even more than she desired. The next
instant she was assisted downward into the gloomy interior, with
excelsior already beginning to block the means of egress.
Gymnastic moments followed; there were times when both boys
hurled themselves full-length upon the floor, seizing the
animated stocking with far-extended hands; and even when the
snake was a complete thing, with legs growing from its
unquestionably ugly face, either Penrod or Verman must keep a
grasp upon it, for it would not be soothed, and refused, over and
over, to calm itself, even when addressed as, "Poor pussy!" and
"Nice 'ittle kitty!"
Finally, they thought they had their good ole snake "about
quieted down", as Penrod said, because the animated head had
remained in one place for an unusual length of time, though
the legs produced a rather sinister effect of crouching, and a
noise like a distant planing-mill came from the interior--and
then Duke appeared in the doorway. He was still feeling lively.