On the day of the big race at Kempton Park, in which the Ambler,
starting favourite, was left at the post, George Pendyce had just put
his latch-key in the door of the room he had taken near Mrs. Bellew,
when a man, stepping quickly from behind, said:
George opened it, and read from the top of a slip of paper:
"'ADMIRALTY, PROBATE, AND DIVORCE.
The humble petition of Jaspar Bellew-----'"
He lifted his eyes, and his look, uncannily impassive, unresenting,
unangered, dogged, caused the messenger to drop his gaze as though he
had hit a man who was down.
He shut the door, and read the document through. It contained some
precise details, and ended in a claim for damages, and George smiled.
Had he received this document three months ago, he would not have
taken it thus. Three months ago he would have felt with rage that he
was caught. His thoughts would have run thus 'I have got her into a
mess; I have got myself into a mess. I never thought this would
happen. This is the devil! I must see someone--I must stop it.
There must be a way out.' Having but little imagination, his
thoughts would have beaten their wings against this cage, and at once
he would have tried to act. But this was not three months ago, and
now----
He lit a cigarette and sat down on the sofa, and the chief feeling in
his heart was a strange hope, a sort of funereal gladness. He would
have to go and see her at once, that very night; an excuse--no need
to wait in here--to wait--wait on the chance of her coming.
He got up and drank some whisky, then went back to the sofa and sat
down again.
'If she is not here by eight,' he thought, 'I will go round.'
Opposite was a full-length mirror, and he turned to the wall to avoid
it. There was fixed on his face a look of gloomy determination, as
though he were thinking, 'I'll show them all that I'm not beaten
yet.'
At the click of a latch-key he scrambled off the sofa, and his face
resumed its mask. She came in as usual, dropped her opera cloak, and
stood before him with bare shoulders. Looking in her face, he
wondered if she knew.
"I thought I'd better come," she said. "I suppose you've had the
same charming present?"
"That's all right; nothing matters when I have you.
He felt her arms fasten behind his neck, but they were cool as
marble; he met her eyes, and they were mocking and compassionate.
Their cab, wheeling into the main thoroughfare, joined in the race of
cabs flying as for life toward the East--past the Park, where the
trees, new-leafed, were swinging their skirts like ballet-dancers in
the wind; past the Stoics' and the other clubs, rattling, jingling,
jostling for the lead, shooting past omnibuses that looked cosy in
the half-light with their lamps and rows of figures solemnly opposed.
At Blafard's the tall dark young waiter took her cloak with
reverential fingers; the little wine-waiter smiled below the
suffering in his eyes. The same red-shaded lights fell on her arms
and shoulders, the same flowers of green and yellow grew bravely in
the same blue vases. On the menu were written the same dishes. The
same idle eye peered through the chink at the corner of the red
blinds with its stare of apathetic wonder.
Often during that dinner George looked at her face by stealth, and
its expression baffled him, so careless was it. And, unlike her mood
of late, that had been glum and cold, she was in the wildest spirits.
People looked round from the other little tables, all full now that
the season had begun, her laugh was so infectious; and George felt a
sort of disgust. What was it in this woman that made her laugh, when
his own heart was heavy? But he said nothing; he dared not even look
at her, for fear his eyes should show his feeling.
'We ought to be squaring our accounts,' he thought--'looking things
in the face. Something must be done; and here she is laughing and
making everyone stare!' Done! But what could be done, when it was
all like quicksand?
'This is the woman for whom I've given it all up. This is the woman
to whom I shall be tied. This is the woman I cannot tear myself away
from. If I could, I would never see her again. But I can't live
without her. I must go on suffering when she's with me, suffering
when she's away from me. And God knows how it's all to end!'
He took her hand in the darkness; it was cold and unresponsive as a
stone. He tried to see her face, but could read nothing in those
greenish eyes staring before them, like a cat's, into the darkness.
When the cab was gone they stood looking at each other by the light
of a street lamp. And George thought:
She put her latch-key in the door, and turned round to him. In the
silent, empty street, where the wind was rustling and scraping round
the corners of tall houses, and the lamplight flickered, her face and
figure were so strange, motionless, Sphinx-like. Only her eyes
seemed alive, fastened on his own.