YEVGRAF IVANOVITCH SHIRYAEV, a small farmer, whose father, a
parish priest, now deceased, had received a gift of three hundred
acres of land from Madame Kuvshinnikov, a general's widow, was
standing in a corner before a copper washing-stand, washing his
hands. As usual, his face looked anxious and ill-humoured, and
his beard was uncombed.
"What weather!" he said. "It's not weather, but a curse laid upon
us. It's raining again!"
He grumbled on, while his family sat waiting at table for him to
have finished washing his hands before beginning dinner. Fedosya
Semyonovna, his wife, his son Pyotr, a student, his eldest
daughter Varvara, and three small boys, had been sitting waiting
a long time. The boys -- Kolka, Vanka, and Arhipka -- grubby,
snub-nosed little fellows with chubby faces and tousled hair that
wanted cutting, moved their chairs impatiently, while their
elders sat without stirring, and apparently did not care whether
they ate their dinner or waited. . . .
As though trying their patience, Shiryaev deliberately dried his
hands, deliberately said his prayer, and sat down to the table
without hurrying himself. Cabbage-soup was served immediately.
The sound of carpenters' axes (Shiryaev was having a new barn
built) and the laughter of Fomka, their labourer, teasing the
turkey, floated in from the courtyard.
Pyotr, a round-shouldered student in spectacles, kept exchanging
glances with his mother as he ate his dinner. Several times he
laid down his spoon and cleared his throat, meaning to begin to
speak, but after an intent look at his father he fell to eating
again. At last, when the porridge had been served, he cleared his
throat resolutely and said:
"I ought to go tonight by the evening train. I out to have gone
before; I have missed a fortnight as it is. The lectures begin on
the first of September."
"Well, go," Shiryaev assented; "why are you lingering on here?
Pack up and go, and good luck to you."
"He must have money for the journey, Yevgraf Ivanovitch," the
mother observed in a low voice.
"Money? To be sure, you can't go without money. Take it at once,
since you need it. You could have had it long ago!"
The student heaved a faint sigh and looked with relief at his
mother. Deliberately Shiryaev took a pocket-book out of his
coat-pocket and put on his spectacles.
"The fare to Moscow is eleven roubles forty-two kopecks. . . ."
"Ah, money, money!" sighed the father. (He always sighed when he
saw money, even when he was receiving it.) "Here are twelve
roubles for you. You will have change out of that which will be
of use to you on the journey."
"I did not get lessons quite at first last year. I don't know how
it will be this year; most likely it will take me a little time
to find work. I ought to ask you for fifteen roubles for my
lodging and dinner."
"You will have to make ten do," he said. "Here, take it."
The student thanked him. He ought to have asked him for something
more, for clothes, for lecture fees, for books, but after an
intent look at his father he decided not to pester him further.
The mother, lacking in diplomacy and prudence, like all mothers,
could not restrain herself, and said:
"You ought to give him another six roubles, Yevgraf Ivanovitch,
for a pair of boots. Why, just see, how can he go to Moscow in
such wrecks?"
"Let him take my old ones; they are still quite good."
"He must have trousers, anyway; he is a disgrace to look at."
And immediately after that a storm-signal showed itself, at the
sight of which all the family trembled.
Shiryaev's short, fat neck turned suddenly red as a beetroot. The
colour mounted slowly to his ears, from his ears to his temples,
and by degrees suffused his whole face. Yevgraf Ivanovitch
shifted in his chair and unbuttoned his shirt-collar to save
himself from choking. He was evidently struggling with the
feeling that was mastering him. A deathlike silence followed. The
children held their breath. Fedosya Semyonovna, as though she did
not grasp what was happening to her husband, went on:
"He is not a little boy now, you know; he is ashamed to go about
without clothes."
Shiryaev suddenly jumped up, and with all his might flung down
his fat pocket-book in the middle of the table, so that a hunk of
bread flew off a plate. A revolting expression of anger,
resentment, avarice -- all mixed together -- flamed on his face.
"Take everything!" he shouted in an unnatural voice; "plunder me!
Take it all! Strangle me!"
He jumped up from the table, clutched at his head, and ran
staggering about the room.
"Strip me to the last thread!" he shouted in a shrill voice.
"Squeeze out the last drop! Rob me! Wring my neck!"
The student flushed and dropped his eyes. He could not go on
eating. Fedosya Semyonovna, who had not after twenty-five years
grown used to her husband's difficult character, shrank into
herself and muttered something in self-defence. An expression of
amazement and dull terror came into her wasted and birdlike face,
which at all times looked dull and scared. The little boys and
the elder daughter Varvara, a girl in her teens, with a pale ugly
face, laid down their spoons and sat mute.
Shiryaev, growing more and more ferocious, uttering words each
more terrible than the one before, dashed up to the table and
began shaking the notes out of his pocket-book.
"Take them!" he muttered, shaking all over. "You've eaten and
drunk your fill, so here's money for you too! I need nothing!
Order yourself new boots and uniforms!"
"Listen, papa," he began, gasping for breath. "I . . . I beg you
to end this, for . . ."
"Hold your tongue!" the father shouted at him, and so loudly that
the spectacles fell off his nose; "hold your tongue!"
"I used . . . I used to be able to put up with such scenes, but .
. . but now I have got out of the way of it. Do you understand? I
have got out of the way of it!"
"Hold your tongue!" cried the father, and he stamped with his
feet. "You must listen to what I say! I shall say what I like,
and you hold your tongue. At your age I was earning my living,
while you . . . Do you know what you cost me, you scoundrel? I'll
turn you out! Wastrel!"
"Hold your tongue!" Shiryaev shouted out to her, and tears
actually came into his eyes from anger. "It is you who have
spoilt them -- you! It's all your fault! He has no respect for
us, does not say his prayers, and earns nothing! I am only one
against the ten of you! I'll turn you out of the house!"
The daughter Varvara gazed fixedly at her mother with her mouth
open, moved her vacant-looking eyes to the window, turned pale,
and, uttering a loud shriek, fell back in her chair. The father,
with a curse and a wave of the hand, ran out into the yard.
This was how domestic scenes usually ended at the Shiryaevs'. But
on this occasion, unfortunately, Pyotr the student was carried
away by overmastering anger. He was just as hasty and
ill-tempered as his father and his grandfather the priest, who
used to beat his parishioners about the head with a stick. Pale
and clenching his fists, he went up to his mother and shouted in
the very highest tenor note his voice could reach:
"These reproaches are loathsome! sickening to me! I want nothing
from you! Nothing! I would rather die of hunger than eat another
mouthful at your expense! Take your nasty money back! take it!"
The mother huddled against the wall and waved her hands, as
though it were not her son, but some phantom before her. "What
have I done?" she wailed. "What?"
Like his father, the boy waved his hands and ran into the yard.
Shiryaev's house stood alone on a ravine which ran like a furrow
for four miles along the steppe. Its sides were overgrown with
oak saplings and alders, and a stream ran at the bottom. On one
side the house looked towards the ravine, on the other towards
the open country, there were no fences nor hurdles. Instead there
were farm-buildings of all sorts close to one another, shutting
in a small space in front of the house which was regarded as the
yard, and in which hens, ducks, and pigs ran about.
Going out of the house, the student walked along the muddy road
towards the open country. The air was full of a penetrating
autumn dampness. The road was muddy, puddles gleamed here and
there, and in the yellow fields autumn itself seemed looking out
from the grass, dismal, decaying, dark. On the right-hand side of
the road was a vegetable-garden cleared of its crops and
gloomy-looking, with here and there sunflowers standing up in it
with hanging heads already black.
Pyotr thought it would not be a bad thing to walk to Moscow on
foot; to walk just as he was, with holes in his boots, without a
cap, and without a farthing of money. When he had gone eighty
miles his father, frightened and aghast, would overtake him,
would begin begging him to turn back or take the money, but he
would not even look at him, but would go on and on. . . . Bare
forests would be followed by desolate fields, fields by forests
again; soon the earth would be white with the first snow, and the
streams would be coated with ice. . . . Somewhere near Kursk or
near Serpuhovo, exhausted and dying of hunger, he would sink down
and die. His corpse would be found, and there would be a
paragraph in all the papers saying that a student called Shiryaev
had died of hunger. . . .
A white dog with a muddy tail who was wandering about the
vegetable-garden looking for something gazed at him and sauntered
after him.
He walked along the road and thought of death, of the grief of
his family, of the moral sufferings of his father, and then
pictured all sorts of adventures on the road, each more
marvellous than the one before -- picturesque places, terrible
nights, chance encounters. He imagined a string of pilgrims, a
hut in the forest with one little window shining in the darkness;
he stands before the window, begs for a night's lodging. . . .
They let him in, and suddenly he sees that they are robbers. Or,
better still, he is taken into a big manor-house, where, learning
who he is, they give him food and drink, play to him on the
piano, listen to his complaints, and the daughter of the house, a
beauty, falls in love with him.
Absorbed in his bitterness and such thoughts, young Shiryaev
walked on and on. Far, far ahead he saw the inn, a dark patch
against the grey background of cloud. Beyond the inn, on the very
horizon, he could see a little hillock; this was the
railway-station. That hillock reminded him of the connection
existing between the place where he was now standing and Moscow,
where street-lamps were burning and carriages were rattling in
the streets, where lectures were being given. And he almost wept
with depression and impatience. The solemn landscape, with its
order and beauty, the deathlike stillness all around, revolted
him and moved him to despair and hatred!
An old lady of his acquaintance, a landowner of the
neighbourhood, drove past him in a light, elegant landau. He
bowed to her, and smiled all over his face. And at once he caught
himself in that smile, which was so out of keeping with his
gloomy mood. Where did it come from if his whole heart was full
of vexation and misery? And he thought nature itself had given
man this capacity for lying, that even in difficult moments of
spiritual strain he might be able to hide the secrets of his nest
as the fox and the wild duck do. Every family has its joys and
its horrors, but however great they may be, it's hard for an
outsider's eye to see them; they are a secret. The father of the
old lady who had just driven by, for instance, had for some
offence lain for half his lifetime under the ban of the wrath of
Tsar Nicolas I.; her husband had been a gambler; of her four
sons, not one had turned out well. One could imagine how many
terrible scenes there must have been in her life, how many tears
must have been shed. And yet the old lady seemed happy and
satisfied, and she had answered his smile by smiling too. The
student thought of his comrades, who did not like talking about
their families; he thought of his mother, who almost always lied
when she had to speak of her husband and children. . . .
Pyotr walked about the roads far from home till dusk, abandoning
himself to dreary thoughts. When it began to drizzle with rain he
turned homewards. As he walked back he made up his mind at all
costs to talk to his father, to explain to him, once and for all,
that it was dreadful and oppressive to live with him.
He found perfect stillness in the house. His sister Varvara was
lying behind a screen with a headache, moaning faintly. His
mother, with a look of amazement and guilt upon her face, was
sitting beside her on a box, mending Arhipka's trousers. Yevgraf
Ivanovitch was pacing from one window to another, scowling at the
weather. From his walk, from the way he cleared his throat, and
even from the back of his head, it was evident he felt himself to
blame.
"I suppose you have changed your mind about going today?" he
asked.
The student felt sorry for him, but immediately suppressing that
feeling, he said:
"Listen . . . I must speak to you seriously. . . yes, seriously.
I have always respected you, and . . . and have never brought
myself to speak to you in such a tone, but your behaviour . . .
your last action . . ."
The father looked out of the window and did not speak. The
student, as though considering his words, rubbed his forehead and
went on in great excitement:
"Not a dinner or tea passes without your making an uproar. Your
bread sticks in our throat. . . nothing is more bitter, more
humiliating, than bread that sticks in one's throat. . . . Though
you are my father, no one, neither God nor nature, has given you
the right to insult and humiliate us so horribly, to vent your
ill-humour on the weak. You have worn my mother out and made a
slave of her, my sister is hopelessly crushed, while I . . ."
"It's not your business to teach me," said his father.
"Yes, it is my business! You can quarrel with me as much as you
like, but leave my mother in peace! I will not allow you to
torment my mother!" the student went on, with flashing eyes. "You
are spoilt because no one has yet dared to oppose you. They
tremble and are mute towards you, but now that is over! Coarse,
ill-bred man! You are coarse . . . do you understand? You are
coarse, ill-humoured, unfeeling. And the peasants can't endure
you!"
The student had by now lost his thread, and was not so much
speaking as firing off detached words. Yevgraf Ivanovitch
listened in silence, as though stunned; but suddenly his neck
turned crimson, the colour crept up his face, and he made a
movement.
"That's right!" the son persisted; "you don't like to hear the
truth! Excellent! Very good! begin shouting! Excellent!"
"Hold your tongue, I tell you!" roared Yevgraf Ivanovitch.
Fedosya Semyonovna appeared in the doorway, very pale, with an
astonished face; she tried to say something, but she could not,
and could only move her fingers.
"It's all your fault!" Shiryaev shouted at her. "You have brought
him up like this!"
"I don't want to go on living in this house!" shouted the
student, crying, and looking angrily at his mother. "I don't want
to live with you!"
Varvara uttered a shriek behind the screen and broke into loud
sobs. With a wave of his hand, Shiryaev ran out of the house.
The student went to his own room and quietly lay down. He lay
till midnight without moving or opening his eyes. He felt neither
anger nor shame, but a vague ache in his soul. He neither blamed
his father nor pitied his mother, nor was he tormented by stings
of conscience; he realized that every one in the house was
feeling the same ache, and God only knew which was most to blame,
which was suffering most. . . .
At midnight he woke the labourer, and told him to have the horse
ready at five o'clock in the morning for him to drive to the
station; he undressed and got into bed, but could not get to
sleep. He heard how his father, still awake, paced slowly from
window to window, sighing, till early morning. No one was asleep;
they spoke rarely, and only in whispers. Twice his mother came to
him behind the screen. Always with the same look of vacant
wonder, she slowly made the cross over him, shaking nervously.
At five o'clock in the morning he said good-bye to them all
affectionately, and even shed tears. As he passed his father's
room, he glanced in at the door. Yevgraf Ivanovitch, who had not
taken off his clothes or gone to bed, was standing by the window,
drumming on the panes.
"Good-bye . . . the money is on the round table . . ." his father
answered, without turning round.
A cold, hateful rain was falling as the labourer drove him to the
station. The sunflowers were drooping their heads still lower,
and the grass seemed darker than ever.