ACT THREE
Scene II
 

(Nicole, Monsieur Jourdain, two Lackeys)

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
Nicole!

NICOLE
Yes, sir?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
Listen.

NICOLE
He, he, he, he, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
What are you laughing about?

NICOLE
He, he, he, he, he, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
What does the hussy mean by this?

NICOLE
He, he, he! Oh, how you are got up! He, he, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
How's that?

NICOLE
Ah! Ah! Oh Lord! He, he, he, he, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
What kind of little baggage is this? Are you mocking me?

NICOLE
Certainly not, sir, I should be very sorry to do so. He, he, he, he, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
I'll give you a smack on the nose if you go on laughing.

NICOLE
Sir, I can't help it. He, he, he, he, he, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
You are not going to stop?

NICOLE
Sir, I beg pardon. But you are so funny that I couldn't help laughing. He, he, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
What insolence!

NICOLE
You're so funny like that. He, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
I'll . . .

NICOLE
Please excuse me. He, he, he, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
Listen. If you go on laughing the least bit, I swear I'll give you the biggest slap ever given.

NICOLE
Alright, sir, it's done, I won't laugh any more.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
Take good care not to. Presently you must clean . . .

NICOLE
He, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
You must clean . . .

NICOLE
He, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
You must, I say, clean the room and . . .

NICOLE
He, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
Again!

NICOLE
(Falling down with laughter) Then beat me sir, and let me have my laugh out, it will do me more good. He, he, he, he, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
I'm furious.

NICOLE
Have mercy, sir! I beg you to let me laugh. He, he, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
If I catch you . . .

NICOLE
Sir! I shall burst . . . Oh! if I don't laugh. He, he, he!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
But did anyone ever see such a hussy as that, who laughs in my face instead of receiving my, orders?

NICOLE
What would you have me do, sir?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
That you consider getting my house ready for the company that's coming soon, you hussy.

NICOLE
Ah, by my faith, I don't feel like laughing any more. All your guests make such a disorder here that the word "company" is enough to put me in a bad humor.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN
Why, should I shut my door to everyone for your sake?

NICOLE
You should at least shut it to some people.