Baby's Got a Tooth

The telephone rang in my office to-day,
         as it often has tinkled before.
I turned in my chair in a half-grouchy way,
         for a telephone call is a bore;
And I thought, "It is somebody wanting to know
         the distance from here to Pekin."
In a tone that was gruff I shouted "Hello,"
         a sign for the talk to begin.
"What is it?" I asked in a terrible way.
         I was huffy, to tell you the truth,
Then over the wire I heard my wife say:
         "The baby, my dear, has a tooth!"

I have seen a man jump when the horse that he
         backed finished first in a well-driven race.
I have heard the man cheer, as a matter of fact,
         and I've seen the blood rush to his face;
I've been on the spot when good news has come
         in and I've witnessed expressions of glee
That range from a yell to a tilt of the chin; and
         some things have happened to me
That have thrilled me with joy from my toes to
         my head, but never from earliest youth
Have I jumped with delight as I did when she
         said, "The baby, my dear, has a tooth."

I have answered the telephone thousands of times
         for messages both good and bad ;
I've received the reports of most horrible crimes,
         and news that was cheerful or sad;
I've been telephoned this and been telephoned
         that, a joke, or an errand to run;
I've been called to the phone for the idlest of chat,
         when there was much work to be done;
But never before have I realized quite the thrill
         of a message. forsooth,
Till over the wire came these words that I write,
         "The baby, my dear, has a tooth."