ACT II
Scene 2
 

Another part of the island

[Enter CALIBAN, with a burden of wood. A noise of thunder heard]

CALIBAN
All the infections that the sun sucks up
From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall, and make him
By inch-meal a disease! His spirits hear me,
And yet I needs must curse. But they'll nor pinch,
Fright me with urchin-shows, pitch me i' th' mire,
Nor lead me, like a firebrand, in the dark
Out of my way, unless he bid 'em; but
For every trifle are they set upon me;
Sometime like apes that mow and chatter at me,
And after bite me; then like hedgehogs which
Lie tumbling in my barefoot way, and mount
Their pricks at my footfall; sometime am I
All wound with adders, who with cloven tongues
Do hiss me into madness.

[Enter TRINCULO]

Lo, now, lo!
Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me
For bringing wood in slowly. I'll fall flat;
Perchance he will not mind me.

TRINCULO
Here's neither bush nor shrub to bear off any
weather at all, and another storm brewing; I hear it
sing i' th' wind. Yond same black cloud, yond huge one,
looks like a foul bombard that would shed his liquor. If
it should thunder as it did before, I know not where to
hide my head. Yond same cloud cannot choose but fall by
pailfuls. What have we here? a man or a fish? dead or
alive? A fish: he smells like a fish; a very ancient and
fish-like smell; kind of not-of-the-newest Poor-John. A
strange fish! Were I in England now, as once I was, and
had but this fish painted, not a holiday fool there but
would give a piece of silver. There would this monster
make a man; any strange beast there makes a man; when
they will not give a doit to relieve a lame beggar, they
will lay out ten to see a dead Indian. Legg'd like a
man, and his fins like arms! Warm, o' my troth! I do now
let loose my opinion; hold it no longer: this is no
fish, but an islander, that hath lately suffered by
thunderbolt. [Thunder] Alas, the storm is come again! My
best way is to creep under his gaberdine; there is no
other shelter hereabout. Misery acquaints a man with
strange bed-fellows. I will here shroud till the dregs
of the storm be past.

[Enter STEPHANO singing; a bottle in his hand]

STEPHANO
I shall no more to sea, to sea,
Here shall I die ashore-
This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man's funeral;
well, here's my comfort.

[Drinks]

The master, the swabber, the boatswain, and I,
The gunner, and his mate,
Lov'd Mall, Meg, and Marian, and Margery,
But none of us car'd for Kate;
For she had a tongue with a tang,
Would cry to a sailor 'Go hang!'
She lov'd not the savour of tar nor of pitch,
Yet a tailor might scratch her where'er she did itch.
Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!

This is a scurvy tune too; but here's my comfort.

[Drinks]

CALIBAN
Do not torment me. O!

STEPHANO
What's the matter? Have we devils here? Do you
put tricks upon 's with savages and men of Ind? Ha! I
have not scap'd drowning to be afeard now of your four
legs; for it hath been said: As proper a man as ever
went on four legs cannot make him give ground; and it
shall be said so again, while Stephano breathes at
nostrils.

CALIBAN
The spirit torments me. O!

STEPHANO
This is some monster of the isle with four legs,
who hath got, as I take it, an ague. Where the devil
should he learn our language? I will give him some
relief, if it be but for that. If I can recover him, and
keep him tame, and get to Naples with him, he's a
present for any emperor that ever trod on neat's
leather.

CALIBAN
Do not torment me, prithee; I'll bring my wood
home faster.

STEPHANO
He's in his fit now, and does not talk after the
wisest. He shall taste of my bottle; if he have never
drunk wine afore, it will go near to remove his fit. If
I can recover him, and keep him tame, I will not take
too much for him; he shall pay for him that hath him,
and that soundly.

CALIBAN
Thou dost me yet but little hurt; thou wilt anon,
I know it by thy trembling; now Prosper works upon thee.

STEPHANO
Come on your ways; open your mouth; here is
that which will give language to you, cat. Open your
mouth; this will shake your shaking, I can tell you, and
that soundly; you cannot tell who's your friend. Open
your chaps again.

TRINCULO
I should know that voice; it should be-but he is
drown'd; and these are devils. O, defend me!

STEPHANO
Four legs and two voices; a most delicate monster!
His forward voice, now, is to speak well of his
friend; his backward voice is to utter foul speeches and
to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will recover
him, I will help his ague. Come-Amen! I will pour some
in thy other mouth.

TRINCULO
Stephano!

STEPHANO
Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy!
This is a devil, and no monster; I will leave him; I
have no long spoon.

TRINCULO
Stephano! If thou beest Stephano, touch me, and
speak to me; for I am Trinculo-be not afeard-thy good
friend Trinculo.

STEPHANO
If thou beest Trinculo, come forth; I'll pull
the by the lesser legs; if any be Trinculo's legs, these
are they. Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How cam'st thou
to be the siege of this moon-calf? Can he vent
Trinculos?

TRINCULO
I took him to be kill'd with a thunderstroke.
But art thou not drown'd, Stephano? I hope now thou are
not drown'd. Is the storm overblown? I hid me under the
dead moon-calf's gaberdine for fear of the storm. And
art thou living, Stephano? O Stephano, two Neapolitans
scap'd!

STEPHANO
Prithee, do not turn me about; my stomach is not
constant.

CALIBAN
[Aside] These be fine things, an if they be not
sprites.
That's a brave god, and bears celestial liquor.
I will kneel to him.

STEPHANO
How didst thou scape? How cam'st thou hither?
Swear by this bottle how thou cam'st hither-I escap'd
upon a butt of sack, which the sailors heaved o'erboard-
by this bottle, which I made of the bark of a tree, with
mine own hands, since I was cast ashore.

CALIBAN
I'll swear upon that bottle to be thy true
subject, for the liquor is not earthly.

STEPHANO
Here; swear then how thou escap'dst.

TRINCULO
Swum ashore, man, like a duck; I can swim like
a duck, I'll be sworn.

STEPHANO
[Passing the bottle] Here, kiss the book. Though
thou canst swim like a duck, thou art made like a
goose.

TRINCULO
O Stephano, hast any more of this?

STEPHANO
The whole butt, man; my cellar is in a rock by
th' seaside, where my wine is hid. How now, moon-calf!
How does thine ague?

CALIBAN
Hast thou not dropp'd from heaven?

STEPHANO
Out o' th' moon, I do assure thee; I was the Man
i' th' Moon, when time was.

CALIBAN
I have seen thee in her, and I do adore thee. My
mistress show'd me thee, and thy dog and thy bush.

STEPHANO
Come, swear to that; kiss the book. I will
furnish it anon with new contents. Swear.

[CALIBAN drinks]

TRINCULO
By this good light, this is a very shallow
monster!
I afeard of him! A very weak monster! The Man i' th'
Moon! A most poor credulous monster! Well drawn,
monster, in good sooth!

CALIBAN
I'll show thee every fertile inch o' th' island;
and will kiss thy foot. I prithee be my god.

TRINCULO
By this light, a most perfidious and drunken
monster! When's god's asleep he'll rob his bottle.

CALIBAN
I'll kiss thy foot; I'll swear myself thy
subject.

STEPHANO
Come on, then; down, and swear.

TRINCULO
I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-
headed monster. A most scurvy monster! I could find in
my heart to beat him-

STEPHANO
Come, kiss.

TRINCULO
But that the poor monster's in drink. An
abominable monster!

CALIBAN
I'll show thee the best springs; I'll pluck thee
berries;
I'll fish for thee, and get thee wood enough.
A plague upon the tyrant that I serve!
I'll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee,
Thou wondrous man.

TRINCULO
A most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder of
a poor drunkard!

CALIBAN
I prithee let me bring thee where crabs grow;
And I with my long nails will dig thee pig-nuts;
Show thee a jay's nest, and instruct thee how
To snare the nimble marmoset; I'll bring thee
To clust'ring filberts, and sometimes I'll get thee
Young scamels from the rock. Wilt thou go with me?

STEPHANO
I prithee now, lead the way without any more
talking. Trinculo, the King and all our company else
being drown'd, we will inherit here. Here, bear my bottle.
Fellow Trinculo, we'll fill him by and by again.

CALIBAN
[Sings drunkenly] Farewell, master; farewell,
farewell!

TRINCULO
A howling monster; a drunken monster!

CALIBAN
No more dams I'll make for fish;
Nor fetch in firing
At requiring,
Nor scrape trenchering, nor wash dish.
'Ban 'Ban, Ca-Caliban,
Has a new master-Get a new man.
Freedom, high-day! high-day, freedom! freedom, high-
day, freedom!

STEPHANO
O brave monster! Lead the way.

[Exeunt]