ACT IV
Scene 3
 

PETRUCHIO'S house

Enter KATHERINA and GRUMIO

GRUMIO
No, no, forsooth; I dare not for my life.

KATHERINA
The more my wrong, the more his spite appears.
What, did he marry me to famish me?
Beggars that come unto my father's door
Upon entreaty have a present alms;
If not, elsewhere they meet with charity;
But I, who never knew how to entreat,
Nor never needed that I should entreat,
Am starv'd for meat, giddy for lack of sleep;
With oaths kept waking, and with brawling fed;
And that which spites me more than all these wants-
He does it under name of perfect love;
As who should say, if I should sleep or eat,
'Twere deadly sickness or else present death.
I prithee go and get me some repast;
I care not what, so it be wholesome food.

GRUMIO
What say you to a neat's foot?

KATHERINA
'Tis passing good; I prithee let me have it.

GRUMIO
I fear it is too choleric a meat.
How say you to a fat tripe finely broil'd?

KATHERINA
I like it well; good Grumio, fetch it me.

GRUMIO
I cannot tell; I fear 'tis choleric.
What say you to a piece of beef and mustard?

KATHERINA
A dish that I do love to feed upon.

GRUMIO
Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little.

KATHERINA
Why then the beef, and let the mustard rest.

GRUMIO
Nay, then I will not; you shall have the mustard,
Or else you get no beef of Grumio.

KATHERINA
Then both, or one, or anything thou wilt.

GRUMIO
Why then the mustard without the beef.

KATHERINA
Go, get thee gone, thou false deluding slave,

[Beats him]

That feed'st me with the very name of meat.
Sorrow on thee and all the pack of you
That triumph thus upon my misery!
Go, get thee gone, I say.

Enter PETRUCHIO, and HORTENSIO with meat

PETRUCHIO
How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?

HORTENSIO
Mistress, what cheer?

KATHERINA
Faith, as cold as can be.

PETRUCHIO
Pluck up thy spirits, look cheerfully upon me.
Here, love, thou seest how diligent I am,
To dress thy meat myself, and bring it thee.
I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks.
What, not a word? Nay, then thou lov'st it not,
And all my pains is sorted to no proof.
Here, take away this dish.

KATHERINA
I pray you, let it stand.

PETRUCHIO
The poorest service is repaid with thanks;
And so shall mine, before you touch the meat.

KATHERINA
I thank you, sir.

HORTENSIO
Signior Petruchio, fie! you are to blame.
Come, Mistress Kate, I'll bear you company.

PETRUCHIO
[Aside] Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lovest me.-
Much good do it unto thy gentle heart!
Kate, eat apace. And now, my honey love,
Will we return unto thy father's house
And revel it as bravely as the best,
With silken coats and caps, and golden rings,
With ruffs and cuffs and farthingales and things,
With scarfs and fans and double change of brav'ry.
With amber bracelets, beads, and all this knav'ry.
What, hast thou din'd? The tailor stays thy leisure,
To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure.

Enter TAILOR

Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments;
Lay forth the gown.

Enter HABERDASHER

What news with you, sir?

HABERDASHER
Here is the cap your worship did bespeak.

PETRUCHIO
Why, this was moulded on a porringer;
A velvet dish. Fie, fie! 'tis lewd and filthy;
Why, 'tis a cockle or a walnut-shell,
A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby's cap.
Away with it. Come, let me have a bigger.

KATHERINA
I'll have no bigger; this doth fit the time,
And gentlewomen wear such caps as these.

PETRUCHIO
When you are gentle, you shall have one too,
And not till then.

HORTENSIO
[Aside] That will not be in haste.

KATHERINA
Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak;
And speak I will. I am no child, no babe.
Your betters have endur'd me say my mind,
And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.
My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
Or else my heart, concealing it, will break;
And rather than it shall, I will be free
Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words.

PETRUCHIO
Why, thou say'st true; it is a paltry cap,
A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie;
I love thee well in that thou lik'st it not.

KATHERINA
Love me or love me not, I like the cap;
And it I will have, or I will have none.

Exit HABERDASHER

PETRUCHIO
Thy gown? Why, ay. Come, tailor, let us see't.
O mercy, God! what masquing stuff is here?
What's this? A sleeve? 'Tis like a demi-cannon.
What, up and down, carv'd like an appletart?
Here's snip and nip and cut and slish and slash,
Like to a censer in a barber's shop.
Why, what a devil's name, tailor, call'st thou this?

HORTENSIO
[Aside] I see she's like to have neither cap nor gown.

TAILOR
You bid me make it orderly and well,
According to the fashion and the time.

PETRUCHIO
Marry, and did; but if you be rememb'red,
I did not bid you mar it to the time.
Go, hop me over every kennel home,
For you shall hop without my custom, sir.
I'll none of it; hence! make your best of it.

KATHERINA
I never saw a better fashion'd gown,
More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable;
Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.

PETRUCHIO
Why, true; he means to make a puppet of thee.

TAILOR
She says your worship means to make a puppet of her.

PETRUCHIO
O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread, thou thimble,
Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail,
Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket thou-
Brav'd in mine own house with a skein of thread!
Away, thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant;
Or I shall so bemete thee with thy yard
As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou liv'st!
I tell thee, I, that thou hast marr'd her gown.

TAILOR
Your worship is deceiv'd; the gown is made
Just as my master had direction.
Grumio gave order how it should be done.

GRUMIO
I gave him no order; I gave him the stuff.

TAILOR
But how did you desire it should be made?

GRUMIO
Marry, sir, with needle and thread.

TAILOR
But did you not request to have it cut?

GRUMIO
Thou hast fac'd many things.

TAILOR
I have.

GRUMIO
Face not me. Thou hast brav'd many men; brave not me. I
will neither be fac'd nor brav'd. I say unto thee, I bid thy
master cut out the gown; but I did not bid him cut it to
pieces. Ergo, thou liest.

TAILOR
Why, here is the note of the fashion to testify.

PETRUCHIO
Read it.

GRUMIO
The note lies in's throat, if he say I said so.

TAILOR
[Reads] 'Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown'-

GRUMIO
Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me in the
skirts of it and beat me to death with a bottom of brown
bread; I said a gown.

PETRUCHIO
Proceed.

TAILOR
[Reads] 'With a small compass'd cape'-

GRUMIO
I confess the cape.

TAILOR
[Reads] 'With a trunk sleeve'-

GRUMIO
I confess two sleeves.

TAILOR
[Reads] 'The sleeves curiously cut.'

PETRUCHIO
Ay, there's the villainy.

GRUMIO
Error i' th' bill, sir; error i' th' bill! I commanded
the sleeves should be cut out, and sew'd up again; and that
I'll prove upon thee, though thy little finger be armed in a
thimble.

TAILOR
This is true that I say; an I had thee in place where,
thou shouldst know it.

GRUMIO
I am for thee straight; take thou the bill, give me thy
meteyard, and spare not me.

HORTENSIO
God-a-mercy, Grumio! Then he shall have no odds.

PETRUCHIO
Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me.

GRUMIO
You are i' th' right, sir; 'tis for my mistress.

PETRUCHIO
Go, take it up unto thy master's use.

GRUMIO
Villain, not for thy life! Take up my mistress' gown
for thy master's use!

PETRUCHIO
Why, sir, what's your conceit in that?

GRUMIO
O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for.
Take up my mistress' gown to his master's use!
O fie, fie, fie!

PETRUCHIO
[Aside] Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid.-
Go take it hence; be gone, and say no more.

HORTENSIO
Tailor, I'll pay thee for thy gown to-morrow;
Take no unkindness of his hasty words.
Away, I say; commend me to thy master.

Exit TAILOR

PETRUCHIO
Well, come, my Kate; we will unto your father's
Even in these honest mean habiliments;
Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor;
For 'tis the mind that makes the body rich;
And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds,
So honour peereth in the meanest habit.
What, is the jay more precious than the lark
Because his feathers are more beautiful?
Or is the adder better than the eel
Because his painted skin contents the eye?
O no, good Kate; neither art thou the worse
For this poor furniture and mean array.
If thou account'st it shame, lay it on me;
And therefore frolic; we will hence forthwith
To feast and sport us at thy father's house.
Go call my men, and let us straight to him;
And bring our horses unto Long-lane end;
There will we mount, and thither walk on foot.
Let's see; I think 'tis now some seven o'clock,
And well we may come there by dinner-time.

KATHERINA
I dare assure you, sir, 'tis almost two,
And 'twill be supper-time ere you come there.

PETRUCHIO
It shall be seven ere I go to horse.
Look what I speak, or do, or think to do,
You are still crossing it. Sirs, let 't alone;
I will not go to-day; and ere I do,
It shall be what o'clock I say it is.

HORTENSIO
Why, so this gallant will command the sun.

Exeunt