Sitting-room in Paramore's apartments in Savile Row.
The darkly respectable furniture is, so to speak, en
suite with Paramore's frock coat and cuffs. Viewing the
room from the front windows, the door is seen in the
opposite wall near the left hand corner. Another door,
a light, noiseless partition one covered with a green
baize, is in the right hand wall toward the back,
leading to Paramore's consulting room. The fireplace is
on the left. At the nearest corner of it a couch is
placed at right angles to the wall, settlewise. On the
right the wall is occupied by a bookcase, further
forward than the green baize door. Beyond the door is a
cabinet of anatomical preparations, with a framed
photograph of Rembrandt's School of Anatomy hanging on
the wall above it. In front, a little to the right, a
Paramore is seated in a round-backed chair, on castors,
pouring out tea. Julia sits opposite him, with her back
to the fire. He is in high spirits: she very downcast.
PARAMORE(handing her the cup he has just filled)
There! Making tea
is one of the few things I consider myself able to do thoroughly well.
No, thank you. I don't like sweet things. (She sets down the
I'm afraid I'm a very bad entertainer. The fact is, I'm too
professional. I only shine in consultation. I almost wish you had
something the matter with you; so that you might call out my knowledge
and sympathy. As it is, I can only admire you, and feel how pleasant
it is to have you here.
And pet me, and say pretty things to me! I wonder
you don't offer me a saucer of milk at once?
JULIA(cutting him short)
Oh, you needn't protest. I'm used to it:
It's the only sort of attachment I seem always to inspire.
(Ironically) You can't think how flattering it is!
My dear Miss Craven, what a cynical thing to say! You! who
are loved at first sight by the people in the street as you pass. Why,
in the club I can tell by the faces of the men whether you have been
lately in the room or not.
Oh, I hate that look in their faces. Do
you know that I have never had one human being care for me since I was
That's not true, Miss Craven. Even if it were true of your
father, and of Charteris, who loves you madly in spite of your dislike
for him, it is not true of me.
Who told you that about Charteris?
JULIA(with deep, poignant conviction)
He cares for only one person
in the world; and that is himself. There is not in his whole nature
one unselfish spot. He would not spend one hour of his real life
with-- (a sob chokes her: she rises passionately, crying) You are all
alike, every one of you. Even my father only makes a pet of me. (She
goes away to the fireplace and stands with her back to him.)
PARAMORE(following her humbly)
I don't deserve this from you: indeed
I do not.
Then why do you talk about me with Charteris,
behind my back?
We said nothing disparaging of you. Nobody shall ever do
that in my presence. We spoke of the subject nearest our hearts.
His heart! Oh, God, his heart! (She sits down on the couch and
hides her face.)
I am afraid you love him, for all that, Miss Craven.
JULIA(raising her head instantly)
If he says that, he lies. If ever
you hear it said that I cared for him, contradict it: it is false.
PARAMORE(quickly advancing to her)
Miss Craven: is the way clear for
JULIA(pettishly--losing interest in the conversation and looking
crossly into the fire)
What do you mean?
You must see what I mean. Contradict the
rumour of your attachment to Charteris, not by words--it has gone too
far for that--but by becoming my wife. (Earnestly.) Believe me: it is
not merely your beauty that attracts me: (Julia, interested, looks up
at him quickly) I know other beautiful women. It is your heart, your
sincerity, your sterling reality, (Julia rises and gazes at him,
breathless with a new hope) your great gifts of character that are
only half developed because you have never been understood by those
JULIA(looking intently at him, and yet beginning to be derisively
sceptical in spite of herself)
Have you really seen all that in me?
I have felt it. I have been alone in the world; and I need
you, Julia. That is how I have divined that you, also, are alone in
JULIA(with theatrical pathos)
You are right there. I am indeed alone
in the world.
PARAMORE(timidly approaching her)
With you I should not be alone.
And you?--with me?
You! (She gets quickly out of his reach, taking refuge at the
tea-table.) No, no. I can't bring myself-- (She breaks off, perplexed,
and looks uneasily about her.) Oh, I don't know what to do. You will
expect too much from me. (She sits down.)
I have more faith in you than you have in yourself. Your
nature is richer than you think.
Do you really believe that I am not the shallow,
jealous, devilish tempered creature they all pretend I am?
I am ready to place my happiness in your hands. Does that
prove what I think of you?
Yes: I believe you really care for me. (He approaches her
eagerly: she has a violent revulsion, and rises with her hand raised
as if to beat him off, crying) No, no, no, no. I cannot. It's
impossible. (She goes towards the door.)
PARAMORE(looking wistfully after her)
Is it Charteris?
JULIA(stopping and turning)
Ah, you think that! (She comes back.)
Listen to me. If I say yes, will you promise not to touch me--to give
me time to accustom myself to the idea of our new relations?
I promise most faithfully. I would not press you for the
Then--then--yes: I promise. (He is about to utter his rapture;
she will not have it.) Now, not another word of it. Let us forget it.
(She resumes her seat at the table.) Give me some more tea. (He
hastens to his former seat. As he passes, she puts her left hand on
his arm and says) Be good to me, Percy, I need it sorely.
You have called me Percy! Hurrah! (Charteris
and Craven come in. Paramore hastens to meet them, beaming.) Delighted
to see you here with me, Colonel Craven. And you, too, Charteris. Sit
down. (The Colonel sits down on the end of the couch.) Where are the
Sylvia has dragged Cuthbertson off into the Burlington
Arcade to buy some caramels. He likes to encourage her in eating
caramels: he thinks it's a womanly taste. Besides, he likes them
himself. They'll be here presently. (He strolls across to the cabinet
and pretends to study the Rembrandt photograph, so as to be as far out
of Julia's reach as possible.)
Yes; and Charteris has been trying to persuade me that there's
a short cut between Cork Street and Savile Row somewhere in Conduit
Street. Now did you ever hear such nonsense? Then he said my coat was
getting shabby, and wanted me to go into Poole's and order a new one.
Paramore: is my coat shabby?
I should think not. Then he wanted to draw me into a dispute
about the Egyptian war. We should have been here quarter of an hour
ago only for his nonsense.
CHARTERIS(still contemplating Rembrandt)
I did my best to keep him
from disturbing you, Paramore.
You have come in the nick of time. Colonel
Craven: I have something very particular to say to you.
CRAVEN(springing up in alarm)
In private, Paramore: now really it
must be in private.
Of course. I was about to suggest my consulting
room: there's nobody there. Miss Craven: will you excuse me: Charteris
will entertain you until I return. (He leads the way to the green
Oh, I say, hadn't you better wait until the others
No need for further delay now, my best friend.
(He wrings Charteris's hand.) Will you come, Colonel?
At your service, Paramore: at your service. (Craven and
Paramore go into the consulting room. Julia turns her head and stares
insolently at Charteris. His nerves play him false: he is completely
out of countenance in a moment. She rises suddenly. He starts, and
comes hastily forward between the table and the bookcase. She crosses
to that side behind the table; and he immediately crosses to the
opposite side in front of it, dodging her.)
Don't, Julia. Now don't abuse your advantage.
You've got me here at your mercy. Be good for once; and don't make a
Do you suppose I am going to touch you?
No. Of course not. (She comes forward on her side of the
table. He retreats on his side of it. She looks at him with utter
scorn; sweeps across to the couch; and sits down imperially. With a
great sigh of relief he drops into Paramore's chair.)
CHARTERIS(with a sigh)
I confess I am something either more or less
than a gentleman, Julia. You once gave me the benefit of the doubt.
Indeed! _I_ never told you so. If you cannot behave like a
gentleman, you had better go back to the society of the woman who has
given you up--if such a cold-blooded, cowardly creature can be called
a woman. (She rises majestically; he makes his chair fly back to the
table.) I know you now, Leonard Charteris, through and through, in all
your falseness, your petty spite, your cruelty and your vanity. The
place you coveted has been won by a man more worthy of it.
CHARTERIS(springing up, and coming close to her, gasping with
What do you mean? Out with it. Have you accep--
My own Julia! (He attempts to embrace her.)
JULIA(recoiling--he catching her hands and holding them)
you! Are you mad? Do you wish me to call Dr. Paramore?
Call everybody, my darling--everybody in London. Now I
shall no longer have to be brutal--to defend myself--to go in fear of
you. How I have looked forward to this day! You know now that I don't
want you to marry me or to love me: Paramore can have all that. I only
want to look on and rejoice disinterestedly in the happiness of
(kissing her hand) my dear Julia (kissing the other), my beautiful
Julia. (She tears her hands away and raises them as if to strike him,
as she did the night before at Cuthbertson's.) No use to threaten me
now: I am not afraid of those hands--the loveliest hands in the world.
How have you the face to turn round like this after insulting
and torturing me!
Never mind, dearest: you never did understand me; and you
never will. Our vivisecting friend has made a successful experiment at
It is you who are the vivisector--a far crueller,
more wanton vivisector than he.
Yes; but then I learn so much more from my experiments than
he does! And the victims learn as much as I do. That's where my moral
superiority comes in.
JULIA(sitting down again on the couch with rueful humour)
shall not experiment on me any more. Go to your Grace if you want a
victim. She'll be a tough one.
CHARTERIS(reproachfully sitting down beside her)
And you drove me to
propose to her to escape from you! Suppose she had accepted me, where
should I be now?
Where _I_ am, I suppose, now that I have accepted Paramore.
But I should have made Grace unhappy. (Julia sneers).
However, now I come to think of it, you'll make Paramore unhappy. And
yet if you refused him he would be in despair. Poor devil!
JULIA(her temper flashing up for a moment again)
He is a better man
Don't call me your dear. And what do you mean by
saying that I shall make him unhappy? Am I not good enough for him?
Well, that depends on what you mean by good
You might have made me good if you had chosen to.
You had a great power over me. I was like a child in your hands; and
you knew it.
CHARTERIS(with comic acquiescence)
Yes, my dear. That means that
whenever you got jealous and flew into a violent rage, I could always
depend on it's ending happily if I only waited long enough, and petted
you very hard all the time. When you had had your fling, and called
the object of your jealousy every name you could lay your tongue to,
and abused me to your heart's content for a couple of hours, then the
reaction would come; and you would at last subside into a soothing
rapture of affection which gave you a sensation of being angelically
good and forgiving. Oh, I know that sort of goodness! You may have
thought on these occasions that I was bringing out your latent
amiability; but I thought you were bringing out mine, and using up
rather more than your fair share of it.
According to you, then, I have no good in me! I am an utterly
vile, worthless woman. Is that it?
Yes, if you are to be judged as you judge others. From the
conventional point of view, there's nothing to be said for you,
Julia--nothing. That's why I have to find some other point of view to
save my self-respect when I remember how I have loved you. Oh, what I
have learnt from you!--from you, who could learn nothing from me! I
made a fool of you; and you brought me wisdom: I broke your heart; and
you brought me joy: I made you curse your womanhood; and you revealed
my manhood to me. Blessings forever and ever on my Julia's name! (With
genuine emotion, he takes her hand to kiss it again.)
JULIA(snatching her hand away in disgust)
Oh, stop talking that
nasty sneering stuff.
CHARTERIS(laughingly appealing to the heavens)
She calls it nasty
sneering stuff! Well, well: I'll never talk like that to you again,
dearest. It only means that you are a beautiful woman, and that we all
Don't say that: I hate it. It sounds as if I were a mere
Hm! A fine animal is a very wonderful thing. Don't let us
disparage animals, Julia.
Come, Julia: you don't expect me to admire you for your
moral qualities, do you? (She turns and looks hard at him. He starts
up apprehensively and backs away from her. She rises and follows him
up slowly and intently.)
I have seen you very much infatuated with this
depraved creature who has no moral qualities.
Keep off, Julia. Remember your new obligations
JULIA(overtaking him in the middle of the room)
Never mind Paramore:
that is my business. (She grasps the lappels of his coat in her hands,
and looks fixedly at him.) Oh, if the people you talk so cleverly to
could only know you as I know you! Sometimes I wonder at myself for
ever caring for you.
You fraud! You humbug! You miserable little plaster saint! (He
looks delighted.) Oh! (In a paroxysm half of rage, half of tenderness,
she shakes him, growling over him like a tigress over her cub.
Paramore and Craven at this moment return from the consulting room,
and are thunderstruck at the spectacle.)
CRAVEN(shouting, utterly scandalized)
Julia!! (Julia releases
Charteris, but stands her ground disdainfully as they come forward,
Craven on her left, Paramore on her right.)
Nothing, nothing. You'll soon get used to this, Paramore.
Now really, Julia, this is a very extraordinary way to behave.
It's not fair to Paramore.
If Dr. Paramore objects he can break off our
engagement. (To Paramore) Pray don't hesitate.
PARAMORE(looking doubtfully and anxiously at her)
Do you wish me to
break it off?
Nonsense! don't act so hastily. It was my fault.
I annoyed Miss Craven--insulted her. Hang it all, don't go and spoil
everything like this.
This is most infernally perplexing. I can't believe that you
insulted Julia, Charteris. I've no doubt you annoyed her--you'd annoy
anybody; upon my soul you would--but insult!--now what do you mean by
Miss Craven; delicacy and sincerity I ask
you to be frank with me. What are the relations between you and
Ask him. (She goes to the fireplace, her back on them.)
Certainly: I'll confess. I'm in love with Miss
Craven--always have been; and I've persecuted her with my addresses
ever since I knew her. It's been no use: she utterly despises me. A
moment ago the spectacle of a rival's happiness stung me to make a
nasty, sneering speech; and she--well, she just shook me a little, as
I shall never forget that you helped me to
win her, Charteris. (Julia quickly, a spasm of fury in her face.)
This is a very different story to the one you told Cuthbertson
and myself this morning. You'll excuse my saying that it sounds much
more like the the truth. Come: you were humbugging us, weren't you?
Ask Julia. (Paramore and Craven turn to Julia. Charteris
remains doggedly looking straight before him.)
It's quite true. He has been in love with me; he has persecuted
me; and I utterly despise him.
Don't rub it in, Julia: it's not kind. No man is quite himself
when he's crossed in love. (To Charteris.) Now listen to me,
Charteris. When I was a young fellow, Cuthbertson and I fell in love
with the same woman. She preferred Cuthbertson. I was taken aback: I
won't deny it. But I knew my duty; and I did it. I gave her up and
wished Cuthbertson joy. He told me this morning, when we met after
many years, that he has respected and liked me ever since for it. And
I believe him and feel the better for it. (Impressively.) Now,
Charteris, Paramore and you stand to-day where Cuthbertson and I stood
on a certain July evening thirty-five years ago. How are you going to
How is he going to take it, indeed! Really, papa,
this is too much. If Mrs. Cuthbertson wouldn't have you, it may have
been very noble of you to make a virtue of giving her up, just as you
made a virtue of being a teetotaller when Percy cut off your wine. But
he shan't be virtuous over me. I have refused him; and if he doesn't
like it he can--he can--
I can lump it. Precisely. Craven: you can depend on me.
I'll lump it. (He moves off nonchalantly, and leans against the
bookcase with his hands in his pockets.)
Julia: you don't treat me respectfully. I don't wish to
complain; but that was not a becoming speech.
JULIA(bursting into tears and throwing herself into the large chair)
Is there anyone in the world who has any feeling for me--who does not
think me utterly vile? (Craven and Paramore hurry to her in the
My pet: I didn't for a moment mean--
Must I stand to be bargained for by two men--passed from one to
the other like a slave in the market, and not say a word in my own
Silence, Charteris. (To Julia, unanswerably.) The test of a
man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel. Anybody can
behave well when things are going smoothly. Now you said to-day, at
that iniquitous club, that you were not a womanly woman. Very well: I
don't mind. But if you are not going to behave like a lady when Mrs.
Tranfield comes into this room, you've got to behave like a gentleman;
or fond as I am of you, I'll cut you dead exactly as I would if you
were my son.
Stop snivelling. I'm not speaking as your Daddy now: I'm
speaking as your commanding officer.
Good old Victoria Cross! (Craven turns sharply on her; and she
darts away behind Charteris, and presently seats herself on the couch,
so that she and Charteris are shoulder to shoulder, facing opposite
ways. Cuthbertson arrives with Grace, who remains near the door whilst
her father joins the others.)
Ah, Jo, here you are. Now, Paramore, tell 'em the news.
Mrs. Tranfield--Cuthbertson--allow me to introduce you to my
CUTHBERTSON(coming forward to shake hands with Paramore)
heartiest congratulations! (Paramore goes to shake hands with Grace.)
Miss Craven: you will accept Grace's congratulations as well as mine,
She will, Jo. (In a tone of command.) Now, Julia. (Julia
Now, Grace. (He conducts her to Julia's right; then posts
himself on the hearthrug, with his back to the fire, watching them.
The Colonel keeps guard on the other side.)
GRACE(speaking in a low voice to Julia alone)
So you have shewn him
that you can do without him! Now I take back everything I said. Will
you shake hands with me? (Julia gives her hand painfully, with her
face averted.) They think this a happy ending, Julia--these men--our
lords and masters! (The two stand silent, hand in hand.)
SYLVIA(leaning back across the couch, aside to Charteris)
really chucked you? (He nods assent. She looks at him dubiously, and
adds) I expect you chucked her.
And now, Paramore, mind you don't stand any chaff from
Charteris about this. He's in the same predicament himself. He's
engaged to Grace.
JULIA(dropping Grace's hand, and speaking with breathless anguish,
but not violently)
Don't be alarmed. It's all off.
What! You've chucked Grace too! What a
shame! (She goes to the other side of the room, fuming.)
CHARTERIS(following her and putting his hand soothingly on her
She won't have me, old chap--that is (turning to the
others) unless Mrs. Tranfield has changed her mind again.
No: we shall remain very good friends, I hope; but nothing
would induce me to marry you. (She goes to chair above the fireplace
and sits down with perfect composure.)
Ah! (She sits down with a great sigh of relief.)
Yes: this is the doom of the philanderer. I shall have to
go on philandering now all my life. No domesticity, no fireside, no
little ones, nothing at all in Cuthbertson's line! Nobody will marry
me--unless you, Sylvia--eh?
Symbolic! That is an accusation of Ibsenism.
What do you mean?
Symbolic of the Old Order. Don't persuade yourself that you
represent the Old Order. There never was any Old Order.
There I flatly contradict you and stand up for Jo. I'd no more
have behaved as you do when I was a young man than I'd have cheated at
cards. _I_ belong to the Old Order.
You're getting old, Craven; and you want to make a merit of
it, as usual.
Come, now, Charteris: you're not offended, I hope. (With a
conciliatory outburst.) Well, perhaps I shouldn't have said that about
cheating at cards. I withdraw it (offering his hand).
CHARTERIS(taking Craven's hand)
No offence, my dear Craven: none in
the world. I didn't mean to shew any temper. But (aside, after looking
round to see whether the others are listening) only just
consider!--the spectacle of a rival's happiness!
Charteris: now you've got to behave like a
man. Your duty's plain before you. (To Cuthbertson.) Am I right, Jo?
Go straight up and congratulate Julia. And do
it like a gentleman, smiling.
Colonel: I will. Not a muscle shall betray the conflict
Julia: Charteris has not congratulated you yet. He's coming to
do it. (Julia rises and fixes a dangerous look on Charteris.)
SYLVIA(whispering quickly behind Charteris as he is about to
Take care. She's going to hit you. I know her. (Charteris
stops and looks cautiously at Julia, measuring the situation. They
regard one another steadfastly for a moment. Grace softly rises and
gets close to Julia.)
CHARTERIS(whispering over his shoulder to Sylvia)
I'll chance it.
(He walks confidently up to Julia.) Julia? (He proffers his hand.)
JULIA(exhausted, allowing herself to take it)
You are right. I am a
CHARTERIS(triumphant, and gaily remonstrating)
GRACE(taking her in her arms as she sinks, almost fainting, away from
Oh, no. Never make a hero of a philanderer. (Charteris, amused
and untouched, shakes his head laughingly. The rest look at Julia with
concern, and even a little awe, feeling for the first time the
presence of a keen sorrow.)