Love for Love by William Congreve

TATTLE, MISS PRUE.

MISS PRUE
What makes 'em go away, Mr Tattle? What do they mean, do you know?

TATTLE
Yes my dear; I think I can guess, but hang me if I know the reason of it.

MISS PRUE
Come, must not we go too?

TATTLE
No, no, they don't mean that.

MISS PRUE
No! What then? What shall you and I do together?

TATTLE
I must make love to you, pretty Miss; will you let me make love to you?

MISS PRUE
Yes, if you please.

TATTLE
Frank, i'Gad, at least. What a pox does Mrs Foresight mean by this civility? Is it to make a fool of me? Or does she leave us together out of good morality, and do as she would be done by?--Gad, I'll understand it so. [Aside.]

MISS PRUE
Well; and how will you make love to me--come, I long to have you begin,--must I make love too? You must tell me how.

TATTLE
You must let me speak, Miss, you must not speak first; I must ask you questions, and you must answer.

MISS PRUE
What, is it like the catechism? Come then, ask me.

TATTLE
D'ye think you can love me?

MISS PRUE
Yes.

TATTLE
Pooh, pox, you must not say yes already; I shan't care a farthing for you then in a twinkling.

MISS PRUE
What must I say then?

TATTLE
Why you must say no, or you believe not, or you can't tell -

MISS PRUE
Why, must I tell a lie then?

TATTLE
Yes, if you'd be well bred. All well bred persons lie.-- Besides, you are a woman, you must never speak what you think: your words must contradict your thoughts; but your actions may contradict your words. So when I ask you if you can love me, you must say no, but you must love me too. If I tell you you are handsome, you must deny it, and say I flatter you. But you must think yourself more charming than I speak you: and like me, for the beauty which I say you have, as much as if I had it myself. If I ask you to kiss me, you must be angry, but you must not refuse me. If I ask you for more, you must be more angry,--but more complying; and as soon as ever I make you say you'll cry out, you must be sure to hold your tongue.

MISS PRUE
O Lord, I swear this is pure. I like it better than our old- fashioned country way of speaking one's mind;--and must not you lie too?

TATTLE
Hum--yes--but you must believe I speak truth.

MISS PRUE
O Gemini! Well, I always had a great mind to tell lies; but they frighted me, and said it was a sin.

TATTLE
Well, my pretty creature; will you make me happy by giving me a kiss?

MISS PRUE
No, indeed; I'm angry at you. [Runs and kisses him.]

TATTLE
Hold, hold, that's pretty well, but you should not have given it me, but have suffered me to have taken it.

MISS PRUE
Well, we'll do it again.

TATTLE
With all my heart.--Now then, my little angel. [Kisses her.]

MISS PRUE
Pish.

TATTLE
That's right,--again, my charmer. [Kisses again.]

MISS PRUE
O fie, nay, now I can't abide you.

TATTLE
Admirable! That was as well as if you had been born and bred in Covent Garden. And won't you shew me, pretty miss, where your bed-chamber is?

MISS PRUE
No, indeed won't I; but I'll run there, and hide myself from you behind the curtains.

TATTLE
I'll follow you.

MISS PRUE
Ah, but I'll hold the door with both hands, and be angry;-- and you shall push me down before you come in.

TATTLE
No, I'll come in first, and push you down afterwards.

MISS PRUE
Will you? Then I'll be more angry and more complying.

TATTLE
Then I'll make you cry out.

MISS PRUE
Oh, but you shan't, for I'll hold my tongue.

TATTLE
O my dear apt scholar!

MISS PRUE
Well, now I'll run and make more haste than you.

TATTLE
You shall not fly so fast, as I'll pursue.