VALENTINE
Why Tattle, you need not be much concerned at anything that he
says: for to converse with Scandal, is to play at losing loadum;
you must lose a good name to him before you can win it for yourself.
TATTLE
But how barbarous that is, and how unfortunate for him, that
the world shall think the better of any person for his calumniation!
I thank heaven, it has always been a part of my character to handle
the reputations of others very tenderly indeed.
SCANDAL
Ay, such rotten reputations as you have to deal with are to
be handled tenderly indeed.
TATTLE
Nay, but why rotten? Why should you say rotten, when you
know not the persons of whom you speak? How cruel that is!
SCANDAL
Not know 'em? Why, thou never had'st to do with anybody that
did not stink to all the town.
TATTLE
Ha, ha, ha; nay, now you make a jest of it indeed. For there
is nothing more known than that nobody knows anything of that nature
of me. As I hope to be saved, Valentine, I never exposed a woman,
since I knew what woman was.
VALENTINE
And yet you have conversed with several.
TATTLE
To be free with you, I have. I don't care if I own that.
Nay more (I'm going to say a bold word now) I never could meddle
with a woman that had to do with anybody else.
SCANDAL
What think you of that noble commoner, Mrs Drab?
TATTLE
Pooh, I know Madam Drab has made her brags in three or four
places, that I said this and that, and writ to her, and did I know
not what--but, upon my reputation, she did me wrong--well, well,
that was malice--but I know the bottom of it. She was bribed to
that by one we all know--a man too. Only to bring me into disgrace
with a certain woman of quality -
TATTLE
No matter for that. Yes, yes, everybody knows. No doubt
on't, everybody knows my secrets. But I soon satisfied the lady of
my innocence; for I told her: Madam, says I, there are some persons
who make it their business to tell stories, and say this and that of
one and t'other, and everything in the world; and, says I, if your
grace -
SCANDAL
Why, Tattle, thou hast more impudence than one can in reason
expect: I shall have an esteem for thee, well, and, ha, ha, ha,
well, go on, and what did you say to her grace?
VALENTINE
I confess this is something extraordinary.
TATTLE
Not a word, as I hope to be saved; an errant lapsus linguae.
Come, let's talk of something else.
TATTLE
Pooh, pooh, nothing at all; I only rallied with you--a woman
of ordinary rank was a little jealous of me, and I told her
something or other, faith I know not what.--Come, let's talk of
something else. [Hums a song.]
SCANDAL
Hang him, let him alone, he has a mind we should enquire.
TATTLE
Valentine, I supped last night with your mistress, and her
uncle, old Foresight: I think your father lies at Foresight's.
VALENTINE
What did I say? I hope you won't bring me to confess an
answer when you never asked me the question?
TATTLE
But, gentlemen, this is the most inhuman proceeding -
VALENTINE
Nay, if you have known Scandal thus long, and cannot avoid
such a palpable decoy as this was, the ladies have a fine time whose
reputations are in your keeping.
