Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and
I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I
am not tall enough to become the function well: nor lean enough
to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man and a
good housekeeper, goes as fairly as to say, a careful man and a
great scholar. The competitors enter.
Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that
never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King
Gorboduc, 'That that is, is'; so I, being master parson, am
master parson: for what is that but that? and is but is?
Why, it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes, and the
clear storeys toward the south-north are as lustrous as ebony;
and yet complainest thou of obstruction?
I am not mad, Sir Topas; I say to you this house is dark.
Madman, thou errest. I say there is no darkness but
ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in
I say this house is as dark as ignorance, though
ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say there was never man
thus abused. I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it
in any constant question.
What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild-fowl?
That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.
I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.
Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt
hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of thy wits; and
fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy
grandam. Fare thee well.
Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown: he
sees thee not.
To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou
findest him; I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may
be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far
in offence with my niece that I cannot pursue with any safety
this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.