Milan. A street
SPEED and LAUNCE severally Enter
Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Padua. SPEED
Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I LAUNCE
reckon this always, that a man is never undone till he be hang'd,
nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot be paid, and
the hostess say 'Welcome!'
Come on, you madcap; I'll to the alehouse with you SPEED
presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have
five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with
Marry, after they clos'd in earnest, they parted very LAUNCE
fairly in jest.
But shall she marry him? SPEED
How then? Shall he marry her? SPEED
No, neither. LAUNCE
What, are they broken? SPEED
No, they are both as whole as a fish. LAUNCE
Why then, how stands the matter with them? SPEED
Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands well LAUNCE
What an ass art thou! I understand thee not. SPEED
What a block art thou that thou canst not! My staff LAUNCE
What thou say'st? SPEED
Ay, and what I do too; look thee, I'll but lean, and my LAUNCE
staff understands me.
It stands under thee, indeed. SPEED
Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one. LAUNCE
But tell me true, will't be a match? SPEED
Ask my dog. If he say ay, it will; if he say no, it will; LAUNCE
if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
The conclusion is, then, that it will. SPEED
Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a LAUNCE
'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how say'st thou SPEED
that my master is become a notable lover?
I never knew him otherwise. LAUNCE
Than how? SPEED
A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be. LAUNCE
Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak'st me. SPEED
Why, fool, I meant not thee, I meant thy master. LAUNCE
I tell thee my master is become a hot lover. SPEED
Why, I tell thee I care not though he burn himself in love. LAUNCE
If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou art an
Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.
Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to LAUNCE
the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
At thy service. SPEED