Well, I had rather than twice the worth of her she had ne'er come
Fie, fie upon her! she's able to freeze the god Priapus, and undo
a whole generation. We must either get her ravished, or be rid of
her. When she should do for clients her fitment, and do me the
kindness of our profession, she has me her quirks, her reasons,
her master reasons, her prayers, her knees; that she would make
a puritan of the devil, if he should cheapen a kiss of her.
'Faith, I must ravish her, or she'll disfurnish us of all our
cavaliers, and make our swearers priests.
Now, the pox upon her green-sickness for me!
'Faith, there's no way to be rid on't but by the way to the pox.
Here comes the Lord Lysimachus disguised.
We should have both lord and lown, if the peevish baggage would
but give way to customers.
Why, your herb-woman; she that sets seeds and roots of shame and
iniquity. O, you have heard something of my power, and so stand
aloof for more serious wooing. But I protest to thee, pretty one,
my authority shall not see thee, or else look friendly upon thee.
Come, bring me to some private place: come, come.
If you were born to honour, show it now;
If put upon you, make the judgement good
That thought you worthy of it.
How 's this? how 's this? Some more; be sage.
That am a maid, though most ungentle fortune
Have placed me in this sty, where, since I came,
Diseases have been sold dearer than physic,
O, that the gods
Would set me free from this unhallow'd place,
Though they did change me to the meanest bird
That flies i' the purer air!
I did not think
Thou couldst have spoke so well; ne'er dream'd thou couldst.
Had I brought hither a corrupted mind,
Thy speech had alter'd it. Hold, here 's gold for thee:
Persever in that clear way thou goest,
And the gods strengthen thee!
For me, be you thoughten
That I came with no ill intent; for to me
The very doors and windows savour vilely.
Fare thee well. Thou art a piece of virtue, and
I doubt not but thy training hath been noble.
Hold, here's more gold for thee.
A curse upon him, die he like a thief,
That robs thee of thy goodness! If thou dost
Hear from me, it shall be for thy good.
How's this? We must take another course with you. If your peevish
chastity, which is not worth a breakfast in the cheapest country
under the cope, shall undo a whole household, let me be gelded
like a spaniel. Come your ways.
She conjures: away with her! Would she had never come within my
doors! Marry, hang you! She's born to undo us. Will you not go
the way of women-kind? Marry, come up, my dish of chastity with
rosemary and bays!
Why, I could wish him to he my master, or rather, my mistress.
Neither of these are so had as thou art,
Since they do better thee in their command.
Thou hold'st a place, for which the pained'st fiend
Of hell would not in reputation change:
Thou art the damned doorkeeper to every
Coistrel that comes inquiring for his Tib;
To the choleric fisting of every rogue
Thy ear is liable, thy food is such
As hath been belch'd on by infected lungs.
What would you have me do? go to the wars, would you? where a man
may serve seven years for the loss of a leg, and have not money
enough in the end to buy him a wooden one?
Do any thing but this thou doest. Empty
Old receptacles, or common shores, of filth;
Serve by indenture to the common hangman:
Any of these ways are yet better than this;
For what thou professest, a baboon, could he speak,
Would own a name too dear. O, that the gods
Would safely deliver me from this place!
Here, here's gold for thee.
If that thy master would gain by me,
Proclaim that I can sing, weave, sew, and dance,
With other virtues, which I'll keep from boast;
And I will undertake all these to teach.
I doubt not but this populous city will
Yield many scholars.
'Faith, my acquaintance lies little amongst them. But since my
master and mistress have bought you, there's no going but by
their consent: therefore I will make them acquainted with your
purpose, and I doubt not but I shall find them tractable enough.
ome, I'll do for thee what I can; come your ways.